


Broken hearts & last goodbyes.

by Ohheyyyalexxo (Nyanlovexo)



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, F/F, F/M, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, No Smut, Sorry Not Sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-07-05 19:39:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 25,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15870387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nyanlovexo/pseuds/Ohheyyyalexxo
Summary: Louis and harry fall apart.That's all you get.





	1. I'm sorry for breaking all the promises I wasn't around to keep.

**Author's Note:**

> Please just give this a chance. No hate intended towards anyone. Thanks.
> 
> The title is from Sorry by The Jonas Brothers. 
> 
> @ATLSPLOVE

How had they ended up like this?  
  
when did everything started changing. how had Louis been so blind and stupid. He never thought they'd end up like this. Never thought harry would betray and lie to him. Never thought he'd lie to the other boys either. But when your in love or you think you are, you are so blind by everything that you dont notice when stuff starts changing.  
  
At first it was small things, like harry separating himself from them on the tour bus, by not staying on the tour bus but in the hotel. Then harry showing up separately at interviews, and gradually just pulling away from him more and more. Till Louis didnt feel like he had friend in harry anymore, never mind a boyfriend.  
  
" I want a hiatus".  
  
Those 4 words made Louis want to throw up.  
Harry. Wanted. A fucking. Hiatus. He announced it without even talking to Louis about it.  
  
"I just... I think it would be good for us, to ya know have some time off...." he droned on and on.  
  
Time off indeed. Neither louis or niall or liam wanted this. At all. Louis was the most confident hed ever been in this last year.  
  
"No. I dont want this. I want to continue as a band" niall said, a bit angrily. "You just now decided this? Or have you wanted this Harry?" Harry looked at Louis almost as if to say help me. Louis shook his head.  
  
"Dont look at Lou, hes not going to help you. Answer me."  
  
"I just think it would be good. For all of us to take a break" harry answered after a long pause.  
  
"Well I guess the great harry styles gets what he wants doesn't he? I hope you're really ready to pay the price for it. It'll cost you two friends and a boyfriend" Liam stormed out of the house, niall following him, slamming the door behind them.

Harry looked at Louis "lou, you wouldnt- " "I would, you fucking asshole. You made this decision without talking to me!!!! How could you do that?!?!" "Lou please " "dont call me that. Stay the fuck away from me. " louis storms out.  
  
Harry sat on his couch wondering what the hell just happened and if he would be able to fix it & started crying.   
  
  
  
************ a year later************  
  
**_Harry styles to release his first solo single sign of the times!! The singer has recently announced he will be releasing his first solo single followed by his album_**  
  
"OH FUCKING HELL !!!!!" Louis shouted over the TV. He really didnt want to hear it. Him and harry broke up. It was too much, too much damage had been done, especially after Louis discovered the 3 album contract. Especially after harry was the only one not to reach out to him after his mum passed away. Jay would hate this. But it had to happen. He turned it off and sighed, trying to calm down.  
His phone dinged with a text. It was Niall.  
  
_Niall: Lou, just saw. Hes a right fucking liar. Told us he had no solo plans and goes and does this. Fucking wanker. How are you holding up._  
  
**Louis: How the fuck am I supposed to feel nialler? He lied. He lied not only to me but to you and liam and to himself maybe. I'm hurt. I know it's been a year. But me and him were together for so long & now its just all gone because HE LIED.**  
  
  
_Niall: Fuck him._  
  
Harry did try and contact him after a while but Louis was having none of it. Preferring to spend his time with Steve Aoki, Oli, and his other friends from Doncaster.

He released a single himself, Just Hold On, which did amazingly well mostly due to Steve's amazing team. He performed it on the X factor days after his mum passed becaus she wanted him to. Otherwise he would have never. Harry showed up there, but after a few obligatory pictures, he left. Didnt stick around long enough to even really talk to Louis or his family. Which _fuck him._ Louis thought angrily. Just the thought of how harry had treated him was enough to make him want to punch a wall.  
  
His phone dinged again. Speak of the devil. 

Louis, it's me. Harry. Look I want to talk to you. Can we please meet up or something? Please.    


  
  
Louis wanted to say no, wanted to say no fuck you and have a nice life. It would be easier to if harry hadnt been such a huge part of his life. But also he was the biggest arsehole ever.  
  
He decided to answer him. Moment of weakness.   
  
**Why should I listen to anything you have to say when every other fucking word out of your mouth has been a lie? You lied to me, you lied to Liam and niall.**  
  
His phone started ringing. It was Harry.  
  
"What do you want?" Louis snapped.  
  
"Lou. You answered "  
  
"What do you want harry and dont call me that." Louis asked again.  
  
"I want to talk to you Lou, - "  
  
"dont call me that." Louis interrupted.  
  
Harry sighed. "Okay. Louis. I want to talk to you. I miss you. I need you in my life."  
  
"You're so full of shit harry. You say that but you didn't even stay while I performed at x factor, you couldnt be bothered to reach out to me after me mum died, you screwed us all over by signing a 3 album contract and calling a hiatus that we didnt want. You. You did this to yourself."  
  
" I'm sorry Louis. I didn't mean to - "

"YOU DIDNT MEAN TO DO WHAT. TO SCREW US OVER OR TO PRETEND LIKE THIS BAND DIDNT GIVE YOU YOUR FUCKING START OR BOTH!!!! GOODBYE HARRY."  
  
Louis hung up, shaking with anger. He couldnt believe harry had the nerve to call him at all. The bastard. Louis unlocked his phone and called Zayn. "Hey mate" zayn answered. Louis took a deep breath. "Can you come over? Call liam and niall too. I need you guys." Louis said, sinking down on his couch. "Yeah I'm already in my car. I'll call liam and niall. Did something happen?" Zayn asked. "Yes. I'll explain when all of you get here." 

He hung up.


	2. Nothing left to say...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This might hurt for a bit.... sorry

"So what happened?" Zayn asked as soon as they were settled in Louis living room eating Chinese food.

Louis sighed. " harry called me. He wanted to talk to me. But I have nothing to say to him."

Liam was the first to speak "what the fuck ?! Does he just he just magically expect you, us to forgive him? He fucking lied to us. Looked us dead the eye and lied. I should have known something was up when he became friends with Azoff." "Not only that, but he made countless, rude comments about Zayn. Acting like zayn did something wrong when he left. Hes a fucking hypocrite if you ask me."

Louis sighed. He knew better than anyone how many more comments harry had made about zayn leaving. True it hurt them but Zayn had had good reasons.

Things had been tense for all of them for a while but now Niall Liam and Louis were all closer than ever to Zayn. Zayn had been Louis rock through his moms death, as well as Liam and niall. He didn't know what he would have done without those boys. "So what else did he say Lou?" Zayn asked, breaking louis out of his thoughts. "He wants to meet up with me. I told him no. It hurts, I thought we were like good. And it was good. Untill it wasnt. I just keep trying to pinpoint the exact moment when it started changing, but I can't. I feel like he just started pulling away at least in the band but then he kept giving me stuff. I guess I should have taken that as a sign. Guilty conscience & all. I dunno. I'm just lost. And when I heard on telly that hes releasing a single , not just a single but an album, that set me off. Fuck him." Louis started crying angrily. Zayn wrapped his arms around him and just held him while he cried. "I'm wasting tears on someone I thought I knew. "

The doorbell rings. Niall got up and went to answer it since Louis was clearly upset right now. He opened the door and then slammed it. Harry was standing on the stoop. Niall opened the door again "What the hell do you want?!" "I need- Lou- he - I need- to explain... I... lou..." he stuttered. Niall glared at him. "Louis doesnt want to see or talk to you right now." "Who is it Nialler? Is that Harry?" Zayn asked from the living room. Niall nodded. Suddenly Louis was beside him. "Lou. Lou. Please. I need. I'm sorry. Lou you have to listen to me." "HOW DARE YOU?! HOW FUCKING DARE YOU SHOW UP AT MY HOUSE!! I guess me hanging up on you wasnt enough of a sign that I dont want to talk to you. You fucking arsehole!!" Louis snapped. "Please. Lou. I'm sorry. Im so sorry. Lou. You .....I love you." "Fuck you harry styles. You don't treat people you love like that. Fuck you." With that Louis slammed the door on his past.


	3. Left your heart out in the rain....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry's side.

**** 6 months earlier*******

 

Harry was sitting in the studio finishing up some songs for his debut album. He turned the radio on for some background noise. Everyone else had long left but he remained, trying to fix Two Ghosts so it didnt sound like a paranormal song. He sighed. It was late, but he wasnt tired, but at the same time he was.

_Wish that you could build a time machine._..

Harry's head snapped up at the sound of Louis voice coming from the radio. He hadnt really let himself listen to the whole song. He missed Louis. He hurt him, he knew. He should have at least talked to Louis about his plans. It hurt to hear his voice, so beautiful and raspy and perfect. He couldnt bring himself to turn it off. Not this time. This time, he wanted it to hurt. He wrote two ghosts about Louis. Everyone would know. He would never admit it though. Not to anyone. It was fucked up.

 

Memories washed over him of Louis, of his beautiful smile, his sharp wit, his curves, his striking blue eyes. He knew this wasnt helping anything, to sit there and think about Louis. Louis wouldnt even talk to him. Harry tried and tried. He wanted to explain to him why he did what he did.

Hed had to get out from under Simon's thumb, granted looking back he probably could have gone about it in a different way. He should have. He should have talked to Louis. Louis didnt deserve this. He was the brightest star in the sky, the sun. He was so amazing and harry well... wasnt.

The worst part was Harry's own fans dismissed and often talked crap about Louis. He saw it. All of it. All the snarky comments about Louis. He didnt like it. But somehow he felt like even if he did say something no one would take it seriously or all the Larry shippers would go nuts.

"Harry you really need to go home. Its 2:30 am." Julian said, starting harry out of his thoughts. "I'm working on a few songs. And I'm not tired. I dont even sleep anymore.... not since-" he stopped. Not since he had moved out of his and Louis flat. Louis deserved to keep it, harry was in a new place but it didnt feel like home.

_If it all goes wrong, darling just hold on_

"Oh. You finally listened to the song?" Julian asked.

"It came on and I couldnt turn it off. Not this time. I hurt him. I know i did. I miss him. Even if we just end up being friends, I want him in my life."

Julian snorted. "You have a funny way of showing it."

Harry looked up from his notes "why would you say that?"

"Because it's the truth harry. I'm not gonna sugar coat it to make you feel better. You fucked up. It's on you to fix it. If you even care to. "

"I do want to. I just dont know how."

Julian looked at him for a moment. "Again you have a funny way of showing it. I know hes been ignoring your calls and rightfully so. You shouldn't have lied to him. Or the other boys. Or to me. But you made your bed now you have to lie in it."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"It means that Louis may not ever get back with you. He may forgive you over time but nothing more. You have to live with the consequences of your actions."

Harry still remembered when Louis confronted him about the 3 album contract he found, because harry stupidly left it out in plain sight.

" _Lou. Lou? You home? " harry had just come from another meeting with Azzof about his album. He was so proud of himself. "I'm in here. " louis said from the living room. Harry walked in and Louis was sitting on the couch his back was tense with anger. His blue eyes flashed at harry. He was holding the contract in his hand. Harry started "Lou-" "No. What the fuck are these contracts harry?! 3 albums?!?!? 3 fucking albums you sighed up to do?!?!??! WITHOUT TALKING TO ME ABOUT IT!?!? What the fuck harry? " harry hadnt been able to say anything before Louis stormed out._

 

Things only had gotten worse between them from there. To Louis it looked like harry didnt care about him or liam or niall. He did care. He cared about Louis so much. It was just hard being Simon's little puppet, being the one who was called a womanizer for years.

But then Louis hadnt had it easy either. Harry had left him with the responsibility of denying there relationship, had let people think Louis was homophobic rather than say anything. He was an actual piece of shit for that.

Finally at 4 am he got up and packed up all this stuff and left the studio. He didnt have anything scheduled for the next 4 days so he could at least go and sleep. Try and forget everything. Except he couldnt because it was Louis. Harry went online upon getting home, and ordered flowers for Louis. Then he took a shower, changed into a pair of boxers and laid down and fell asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last flashback I promise... it was just necessary. In Harry's pov..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy..
> 
> ♥️Song for this chapter ; Before The Storm by The Jonas Brothers feat Miley Cyrus. 
> 
>  
> 
> Please dont yell at me...

****still 6 months earlier*****  
  
Harry woke up with a start hearing his door bell ringing. He grabbed his phone - no missed calls or texts. It was 830 am. Hed only been asleep for a few hours. The ringing continued. Harry got up, putting on a pair of sweatpants and going to the door.  
  
Who the hell could it be this early.  
  
He walked into the living room to the front door. He looked through the peephole. It was Louis. A very angry Louis. He took a breath & opened the door.  
  
"Lou-"  
  
"What the hell are these flowers for?!?! You think that's gonna fix everything? You think it even remotely makes up for everything you did?!?!"  
  
"No. But I'm just trying to show you I'm sorry."  
  
"Are you sorry or are you sorry you got caught?"  
  
"I'm sorry period louis. I hurt you, and that's the last thing I wanted. I still love you, i always will." Julian's words come back to him. "But I also get that you probably wont ever get back together with me."  
  
Louis glared him, his blue eyes flashing. "Fuck you harry. You dont treat people you love like that. You dont lie and manipulate people you "love". " he shoved the flowers at harry. "Here. Give them to your mom or something. I sure as hell dont want anything from you." Then he turned and walked away.  
  
Harry stood on his stoop, holding the flowers, knowing that nothing would ever be the same again. Hed really done it. Hed lost the love of his life. His sun. His star. His everything. He had nothing.  
  
Harry turned and walked back into his house and set the flowers down. He sat down on the couch and started crying. He really fucked up. He didnt know how to make it right. He didnt know if he could make it right.

Louis was so angry and hurt and he had every right to be. Not to mention he'd also hurt liam and niall. He hurt his best friends and for what? To be a solo star? Because Azoff promised him a way out and he took it? Knowing what he knew now, hed do it a helluva alot differently, hed talk to Louis for one thing. And maybe not sign a 3 album contract. Maybe just one and see how it went. Harry ran his hand through his hair and sighed. He was out of tears. He didnt know what do to. 

  
He picked up his phone and called the one person required to love him no matter what.  
"Harry, hi love." His mom answered.  
"Hi mom..." he started crying again. "What's wrong? What's happened?" "Me and Lou... were done. I think. It's all my fault." "What happened?" Harry explained everything to her, how he felt trapped under Simon, how Azoff had given him a way out with the promise of a much better public image, but that was a joke. When he was done, he felt like he could breathe a little easier. It was good to talk to his mom. "Oh honey what have you done to those boys? I can understand why there hurt. But Louis. Louis is my concern. He was your boyfriend harry why wouldnt you talk to him at least about what you were feeling?" "I dont know... I guess I was scared about how he would react & in the process I lost him anyway. " "oh haz,I know it hurts now, I'm sorry. I also know that you love Louis even if you did this. But just a fair warning, he might forgive you but he might not want to be with you and you have to be prepared for that" anne said gently. "I know. He wont even talk to me right now" "give him some space and time to heal harry. Let him come to you when hes ready. You cant rush this." Harry sighed he knew his mum was right. He had to give Louis, Liam and Niall time. They talked for a few more minutes then hung up.  
  
Harry got up from his couch and went to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water. He decided instead of going out to the studio he would just use what he had at home. He didnt really feel like being around people. Except louis. Always louis. He went into one of his many rooms, it was setup almost like a studio. It was soundproof and harry had hung up a few guitars on the wall, along with pictures of Mick Jagger & Florence. He sat down in one of the chairs, pull out his notebook, a small brown notebook that had scribbles all over it it had been with him for a few years now and had definitely seen better days but he refused to throw it out opting instead to just stuff pages into it.  
  
Were just two ghost standing in the place of you & me.. trying to remember how....  
  
He continued writing, pouring his heart out onto the page. Wondering if hed ever feel whole again.  
  
  
  
  



	5. I'm trying to forgive you but I dont know how...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis is broken but also hes gonna be okay...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lack of update. Thanks for reading this if you are! I'm already working on the next chapter which may or may not be inspired by Supernatural. I may or may not be bingeing it on Netflix... also Jensen is bae. So theres that. 
> 
> *wonders off*

After Louis slammed the door on harry, he couldnt focus, he was so upset, he felt like his heart was trying to escape his chest. Liam and zayn were holding him, but he barley registered that. They sat him on the couch and cuddled around him. He couldnt believe how bad things were. He took deep breathes, trying to calm down. Eventually he did. 

"I never want to see or hear his name again." He said softly but firmly. "Lou-" Liam started. "No. I mean it. Never again. Hes dead to me." He got up and walked into his kitchen to make some tea. 

Liam Niall and zayn exchanged glances. "Do you think theres something hes not telling us?" Niall whispered. 

"Maybe. Or maybe hes just that hurt. When your in a relationship your supposed to talk big life changing decisions over with your partner and well... harry didnt do that. I'd be right pissed if someone did that to me." Liam said. 

Zayn nodded in agreement. He added "Plus he lied to you about having solo plans at all. I dont know why, but he did. Let you think you guys were only going on a 2 year break, let the fans think that too. But here you are." 

"Can we stop talking about him please?" Louis asked walking back into the living room with his tea. Liam sighed. "Okay." 

They spent the rest of the afternoon eating chinese food and playing FIFA. Soon it was getting dark outside, the last rays of sun disappearing behind the clouds, when Louis phone rang. 

He looked at it and saw an unknown number so he picked it up. "Hello?" "Louis. Its Anne." Harry's mom. Why the hell was she calling him? And from an unknown number at that. "Yes?" Louis said, he could feel his relaxed state fading away. 

Liam looked at him and Louis mouthed "anne" liam looked shocked. As did niall and zayn. "Louis I need to talk to you. It's about harry." 

"With all due respect Anne, I have nothing to say to harry. I just want to move on and start to heal. I'd appreciate if he left me alone." The unspoken part of his little speech was that he also wanted Anne and Gemma to leave him alone. He needed time to heal and move on, what he didnt need was to be constantly reminded of his dumb ex boyfriend. 

"I understand. I know harry messed up, and I'm sorry for that. I told him to give you time-" "thanks Anne. I've gotta go though, me sisters calling me." Louis interrupted. "Okay . If you need anything-" "I know." Louis hung up. He felt just little bad for lying but he didnt want to hear anything anyone had to say about harry. Maybe he was being stubborn but that's how he felt. 

Liam, zayn and niall were all staring at him. "What? I'm fine." They all exchanged looks as if they didnt believe Louis. "Seriously. I'm fine. " he picked up his game control and unpaused the game. He was about to kick Zayns ass. 

The other boys didn't say anything as they resumed the game. 

 

The next day was bright and sunny in LA, which didnt match Louis mood at all. He woke up around 10 and took a shower, got dressed in skinny Jean's and a black Adidas t shirt. 

He fixed himself a cuppa and sat down to read the many text messages from his management team and the boys. He sighed. He was seriously contemplating getting a new management team. His current one was shit, to say the least. They focused way too much on his personal life, and while Louis didnt mind talking about his family and his relationships once in a while it was a bit much when every other interview was strictly about who he was or wasnt dating. He had come out as bisexual and ever since then they linked him with every girl AND every guy he hung out with, it only increased after the press got wind of his break up.

Now they apparently were saying he was going on dates with Eleanor Calder and Jensen Ackles. 

as if I would just move on that quickly. He thought bitterly. 

And dating two people at once no less. There was nothing wrong with that, but Louis just wasn't ready for the whole dating thing. Him and harry had been together 2 years, he wasn't going to move on that quick, despite how mad he was. Harry on the other hand... well. Louis shook his head, he wasn't going to go there today. Nope. He finished his cuppa and stood up, deciding to go to the studio and try and get some writing done. He grabbed his keys and phone and walked out the door.


	6. You drag me down....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis has a new friend, Lima and Zayn are there. No niall this chapter. Sorry!  
> Theres a Supernatural quote in there somewhere.... points to those who realize who says it. 
> 
> *please dont throw things I promise things will get better. Ish. * 
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you for reading this if you are !!! I appreciate it so much !! ♥️

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song for this chapter 
> 
> \- Back To You by Louis Tomlinson feat Bebe Rexha & Digital Farm Animals.

_A few months later....._

 

 Louis sat down on his new couch, it was black leather and huge. He loved it. He opened his laptop and clicked on the Skype icon. He was about to Skype his new friend Alex. He met her when he flew to Chicago for a few weeks vacation. Hed needed a drastic change from LA and Chicago was about as un La as one could get. He met Alex at a bar / restaurant called Bar Louie. He had almost spilled his drink on her and they'd started talking after he apologized profusely. Turned out they had alot in common. They both loved music, and they had similar tastes in bands. Her only flaw was living so far away. Despite that they'd become fast friends.

Liam and Niall seemed to think something was going on with them but Louis knew who alex had a crush on and it wasnt him. He clicked on Alex's Skype name and pressed call. She picked up. "Hey Louis" she waved at the camera. It looked like she was in Starbucks.

"Hey Alex. How's things?"

"Good good. How are things with you?" She picked up her drink and took a sip. "I'm alright love. Are you drinking coffee?!" She laughed. "Yes I am. Deal with it. Psls only come around once a year and I love them." She said, her brown eyes shining. Alex was quite pretty in Louis opinion, even if she didnt think so. She was curvy, with short brown hair that she put purple streaks in, and brown eyes and her skin was tan. Naturally tan. She was also Latina.

He smiled to himself. "So to what do I owe the pleasure of your lovely face this fine afternoon louis?" Louis chuckled. "I wanted to tell you I want to invite you and a friend to LA. I have a surprise for you." He said. Hed gotten her a chance to meet and hang out with her favorite person in the world, Lilly Singh. She narrowed her eyes at him, "Did you pay for my flight already? Cause if you did I'm going to-" "yes I did love. You will just have to deal with that. "He interrupted. "Louuiiiisss. You dont have to do that. I have a job, I can totally pay for a flight. I dont wanna take advantage of you." She said, sighing. "Your not love. I promise. If it makes you feel better you can take me out to dinner as a thank you. You'll be staying with me of course. My house is big enough."

Alex rolled her eyes at that. "I know that Lewis. And ofc I'm taking you out to dinner. Maybe even cook for you. What's the surprise though?" Louis shook his head "oh no no. You're not getting it out of me." "Lewiiissss. That is rude." She whined. "Nope I'm not telling you no matter how much you beg" He smiled. "You'll find out soon enough love. I'm emailing you your flight info and your tickets. Are you bringing a friend?" "No. Not one of my friends want to go to LA." She said. "Besides I need to get away from everything." Louis nodded. He understood completely. He knew things with alex had been hard ever since her grandma & mum passed away. She was hurting. He got it.

They talked for a little while longer, catching up. He had just hung up with her when he got a text.

It was a picture of him and alex  from when he was in Chicago. that he took. What the fuck? 

It was from harry. Louis took a deep breath and read it

Lou, are you.... are you.....dating her?

As if he had any right to ask that, he had alot of nerve. Louis had seen him hang around some guys and never questioned him. What the fuck.

 **Not that it's any of your business, but no I'm not. Shes interested in someone else. Again, not that it is any of your business.** he typed back.

It is my business because I still love you lou.

**Dont call me that. Goodbye harry.**

He deleted the messages and went to his contacts and called his publicist. "Hello Louis." Adrina greeted him. "Why were my personal photos given to the sun?" He asked annoyed. "Because we need you in the press Louis. You have been in the studio and there had to be something else out there besides that. Harry's promo is taking over everything." She said.

He rolled his eyes.

He was well aware of the great almighty stupid styles in the fucking headlines every other fucking day. "I'm aware of this. But those were private pictures. You couldnt have gotten Alex's permission and you didnt have mine!!" He practically shouted. "No we didnt need anyones permission Louis, dont you get it? Syco owns you. You should know this by now."

Louis hung up. She was right was the thing. Syco did own his brand. He needed to get new management. Hed known this for a while. No time like the present. He started doing his research and using his contacts in the industry to make it known he was quietly looking to leave syco.

Later that day he received a text from alex stating that he was a twat for booking first class, as there was no way a genderfluid bitch like her could ever be that bougie. But that he was a generous twat and she appreciated him doing this for her. Louis laughed harder than he had in a long time when he read it. He texted her back and told her she was welcome. She sent him a screenshot of his contact info it said Louis "twat" with a blue heart emoji. He laughed again and put her as alex "genderfluid bitch" with an emoji next to it. She sent back the cry laughing emoji. He felt like hed known her his whole life but obviously he hadnt. They just clicked and it was nice.

Liam came over with Zayn and they ordered pizza and watched Fast & Furious 7. Louis always cried when they did the tribute to Paul. "I know were not supposed to say his name, like hes Voldemort, and i get it. But has he tried to contact you? I know he saw those pics of you and Alex. He texted me but I never answered him" Liam asked a while later. Louis snorted "Voldemort was smarter. He asked me if were dating." "What did you tell him?" Louis sighed. "I told him it was none of his business but that no we arent. Alex is into someone else." Louis said. He knew alex wouldnt care as long as he didn reveal who. "Who does she like? Maybe we can fix them up." Zayn said. "I'm not telling you. She swore me to secrecy." Zayn nodded. He dropped it.

"But why does harry care if your dating or not? Hes the one who messed up" liam said. Louis rolled his eyes. "He says he still loves me. Whatever. I'm not buying it." Liam looked like he wanted to say something but thought better of it.

"I know everyone thinks your fated to be with him, but you dont have to be ruled by fate. You can choose freedom." Zayn said.

Louis knew that. "I know."

He was tired of everyone talking about him. "Can we drop it please." He asked, giving them both a look. They nodded.

The next day Louis went to the studio, he was recording a song called Back to you. Apparently they'd found a female artist named Bebe to sing part of it and he wanted to hear it.

The producer greeted him and they got down to work. "She smashed it" louis said. From the little bit that she sang for the demo. He could feel it she was perfect for this record. He already had an idea for the music video, he really wanted to film it in Doncaster.  He loved this song. It was about a toxic relationship, about being with someone you maybe shouldn't be but you kept going back to them. Maybe it was inspired by reality. Who knew.

<

Later that night, Louis laid his new bed, trying to fall asleep, he couldnt for some reason. He kept thinking about harry. He knew he shouldn't. Him and harry had so much history though. It sucked not being in his life. He hurt him so bad telling lie after lie. He didnt know if they ever would even be friends like before and that was bothering him. Alot. He sighed. Nothing he could do tonight. It was late, he had to wake up early to go back to the studio. He sent a text that he would probably later regret but in that moment he felt like had to. **I still love you too...... I just dont trust you at all..**

Then he fell asleep..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always no hate intended towards anyone... 
> 
> If youd like to follow me on Twitter its @ATLSPLOVE


	7. It's too late.....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex arrives. 
> 
> Louis and harry talk..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE. 
> 
> ♥️Massive Thank you to everyone from the bottom of my heart for reading this. I really do appreciate it. 
> 
> Songs for this chapter   
> * La baby by the Jonas Brothers..  
> * white horse by taylor swift.

A few days later, louis was at LAX picking up Alex. She was so excited but also kept calling him a twat because he wouldnt tell her what her surprise was and she also felt the trip was more than enough. He waited by the gate as her flight pulled in and they let people off. He spotted her purple hair right away as it was kind of brighter than when they skyped. 

She looked up, looking around for him. Spotting him, she ran over and gave him a huge hug. Louis felt like he was hugging his sister. Alex pulled back and smiled "I'm so happy to finally be here. Thank you for this Louis, seriously. You are amazing." She said. She only had a backpack and a carry on Adidas bag. A girl after his own heart. "I'm happy you're here and seriously love it was no trouble." 

As they walked out of the airport they chatted about alex's flight and Louis told her about recording his album and how he was very excited for it. They got in Louis car and he drove off to his house. "Do you want the raido on? You can turn it on if you want. " He said gesturing towards his car raido. "Sure." Alex reached over and turned it on. 

Just stop your crying it's a sign of the times

Alex quickly changed the station, to one that was playing Nicki Minaj. She sighed. "Are you okay Louis?" Louis looked tense. Alex hated that. Louis glance at her "yeah. I kind of mentally prepared myself for it. I usually turn it off if I hear him on the radio or see him on TV." "I'm sorry. I wish I could undo the pain you're feeling." Alex said softly. "Its not your fault love. But thanks. Me & the boys we just call him Voldemort. So." Alex chuckled. "Sounds about right." She said. "Especially after everything you told me, I'm sorry louis." Louis sighed. "I didn't intend for you to hate him-" "I dont hate him, I dont even know him. Anyway! I'm gonna make you a playlist with All Time Low, Simple Plan, Troye Sivan Hayley Kiyoko..." she said. "Hayley Kiyoko is the girl everyone calls lesbian jesus right?" Louis asked. "Yep. Cause she is. " alex said smiling.

They finally reached Louis house a few minutes later and alex was in awe. "Holy crap. This is a nice house." "Thanks love". She grabbed her backpack and Louis got her carry on out of the trunk. Louis locked his car up and they walked to his door. His house was huge, maybe not as huge as some other celebrities houses but it was very nice. "I'll show you where your staying. It's me guest room. I hope you like it. " "all I need is a bed, pillow and a shower & I'm good" alex said, still looking around at his massive living room. She spotted pictures of his family, pics with him and zayn and liam and niall. "Here is your room" louis flicked on the light. Alex walked in and she was quite happy. "Niiice. I love it. Nice bed." It was a canopy bed. It stood in the center of the room. Beside it was night stand and across from it was a small dresser. There was also a full bathroom off to the right. "I stocked the bathroom with your favorite shampoo and conditioner and theres towels in that cabinet if you need them."louis said. "Thank you so much Louis. You're a great friend." Alex smiled and gave him a huge hug. "Now get out so I can shower. I reek of airplane." She shooed him away. He laughed "you smell fine but alright alright. I be in the living room. Just holler if you need me." He walked out closing the door behind him. 

 

Once alex had showered and changed into a black Adidas t shirt and skinny jeans, they decided to watch a movie and order pizza because alex was, in her words "jetlagged the house". Whatever that meant, Louis didnt know, alex tried and failed at explaining it to him. 

"What movie do you wanna watch? I have Netflix." louis asked turning on his huge TV and sitting down next to alex on his huge couch. Alex gasped & clapped "let's watch Queer Eye!!" She said very enthusiastically hitting louis,he laughed "alright no need to beat me up." Alex rolled her eyes, she snorted "as if. I would never. That is rude the house." Louis just laughed and turned on season 1 episode one of Queer eye. They both danced along to the theme song. It was such a good show. 

They got to the 4th episode before Alex fell asleep. Apparently she really was "jettlagged the house" Louis smiled and just covered her with a blanket. He remained where he was but decided to watch Breaking Bad so him & alex could finish Queer Eye together. 

He was halfway through his 3rd episode when his phone starting ringing. It was Harry's ringtone. Louis hit decline. He really had nothing to say to harry. Hed just spent a lovely day with his new friend, he didnt need harry or anyone else bringing him down. His phone rang again, it was harry again. louis sighed. He really didnt want to talk him and he couldnt understand why harry kept calling. 

The 4th time it rang he picked up & snapped "what the hell do you want?!" "Lou... you.. I'm... lou... i just wanted to hear your voice. I finally listened to all of just hold on, I miss you lou..-" "Stop. Just stop. Stop calling me lou." "You said you still loved me. The other night you said it louis." Louis got up from the couch, careful not to disturb alex. He went into his room. "I know what I said. I also said I dont trust you anymore. How can I? You lied to me about small things, about big things, what am I supposed to do harry? Huh? Please tell me." Harry sounded like he was crying. "I dont know louis... I'm sorry, for everything. I'm sorry I lied to you so much, I was scared of losing you and I lost you anyway."  
Louis took a deep breath. Hed been thinking and thinking about what to say to harry and now he just let it all out. "harry, we cant keep doing this. You cant keep calling me, I know you're sorry. I just dont know what you expect me to do. I can't just magically forgive you. And even if I do, it's never gonna be the same and that's what hurts the most. You were, above all else, one of my best friends, and now not only did I lose a boyfriend, I lost a friend too & I just need time to heal from that. Cant you understand that?" Harry sighed, he seemed to have stopped crying at least a little. "Yes lou. I guess I have to respect how you feel. You were the most important person in my life, you were everything lou, you still are. You're the sun and every star in the sky. I know you dont believe me right now. But I'm going to fight for you, because I love you." "But what if theres nothing left to fight for?" "There is lou. I know we are supposed to be together. "

louis couldnt be cruel and repeat what zayn said about fate and freedom, and luckily he heard alex talking. "I've got to go, alex is waiting for me." "What.....shes there.... why lou?!" Harry sounded jealous as fuck. "Shes here because I got her in to meet the person she has a crush on. It's not me and even if it was that's still not your business. I have to go. Goodbye harry." With that Louis hung up and walked into his bathroom. He looked like hed been crying, so he splashed cold water on his face, took a few deep breaths and walked out of his room to the living room. 

"Hey, you re awake sleeping beauty." He greeted her. "Ha. Ha. I told you I was jetlagged the house." She said, looking up from her phone. "Are you okay? You look like you were crying." Louis sighed, he should have known he couldnt hide it. "I talked to harry. It was.... hard to say the least, but necessary. I love him, but I dont trust him. At all. I dont know if we will ever be friends again." Louis felt the tears coming but he didnt want to cry, he pinched his nose and sighed. "Hey, it's okay. I get its complicated. I as your friend just want you to be happy. That's all. If eventually you decided to give him another chance, I'll support you, and even if you dont, I'll still support you." "Thanks love." They hugged. "I'm so tired, I'm gonna turn in. Is that okay?" "Of course, I can tell you're tired, you've got dark circles under your eyes." Louis joked. Alex smacked him playfully. " shut up. I will not take this abuse. Goodnight. " she got up and flounced away. He heard her door shut and turned breaking bad back on. A little mindless TV was what he needed. 

Around 1 am louis finally made his way to his room. He brushed his teeth and washed his face. He then changed into a pair of sweatpants and a white t shirt. He crawled into bed and plugged his phone on the charger. He let sleep come... thinking about Voldemort....


	8. & I don't know why but with you I'd dance in a storm...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis is gonna start fucking winning.  
> Alex is in love. 
> 
> It's a good. 
> 
> The rest of the boys will be back next chapter..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Massive massive thank you to everyone who is reading this. Thank you also for the kind comments and kudos. I appreciate it so much ♥️ 
> 
> Songs for this chapter  
> ♥️Fearless By Taylor Swift.  
> ♥️Fireproof - One direction .

Louis woke the next day to the smell of bacon and for one tiny second he forgot that him and Lord Voldemort broke up. But that quickly changed as he also heard alex singing. He stretched in bed, reaching for his phone, he had a text from his sister asking how he was doing. Plus some emails from his management. He left those unread & texted Lottie back. He put down his phone and got up, went to his bathroom to take a shower.  
  
Once he was done, he got dressed in a pair of black jeans, a black shirt and Adidas shoes. He walked downstairs and saw alex still in her pjs, cooking. "Good morning. "He greeted her. She jumped startled. "Jesus Louis you cant just sneak up on me like that."  
  
She narrowed her eyes at him. "Its too early. "  
  
"its literally 11am alex."  
  
"I said what I said"  
  
Louis laughed.  
  
Alex served up the bacon and pancakes shed made. "Thank you for cooking. You didnt have to do that." Louis said, sitting down at his kitchen table. "I know. I wanted to, as a thank you for inviting me out here and letting me stay with you." She said, also sitting down. They dug in. It was actually really good. "Did you put bananas in the pancakes?" "Yep. Do you like it?" She asked. "Its really good."  
  
They continued eating, chatting a bit. Once they were done, Louis looked at the clock, they had two hours before they had to leave for Alex's surprise. "What are we doing today?" Alex asked. Louis smirked "your surprise is today. In 2 hours. And no I'm not telling you what it is." She rolled her eyes. "You are so rude the house. How am I supposed to know what to wear if I dont know where we are going?"she demanded. "You can dress nice, but not like formal. That's all your getting" louis said. He was such a little shit.  
  
"Meanwhile, do you wanna finish Queer Eye?" Louis asked. "Let's watch Supernatural." Alex suggests. "Omg you like that show?!" "Are you kidding? Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki kicking evils ass? Hell yes."  
  
They grabbed drinks from the fridge and headed into the living room and sat down on Louis couch. Louis grabbed the remote and pulled up Netflix, selecting Supernatural. Since alex was already on season 2, he picked that one. Never mind the fact that they had both seen all 13 seasons. It was fun to re watch it.  
  
An hour later, louis nudged alex and said "we should start getting ready love." Alex side eyed him "I still wanna know where were going."  
  
Louis smirked "I'll never tell" he sing songed. Alex rolled her eyes and got up and went upstairs to change. Louis was sure she would love her surprise. It wasn't just the fact that she would get to meet Lilly, her crush, but shed also get to actually spend time with her and have lunch with her. He was excited for her.  
  
Finally a half hour later, alex came back downstairs. "Ya know it's really difficult to decide what to wear since I have zero clue where were going but I tried?" She said. Louis looked up from his phone, She was wearing black jeans & a very nice black top that had her name embroidered on it, shed chosen her white adiads to complete the look. "You look very nice." Louis said. "Thank you, you twat. Now where are we going?" "You'll find out soon enough." Louis had arranged for his driver to take them, he very rarely used him unless it was a special occasion, choosing to drive himself everywhere or take a Lyft if he needed to. While alex is meeting Lilly louis had a meeting of his own with his hopefully soon to be new management. It was in the area where they were going.  
  
At 1pm sharp his driver alerted him he was waiting for them. Louis and Alex grabbed there phones, wallets and Louis grabbed his keys and after Louis locked his door they headed to the car.  
  
They get it in & Louis whispers the address again to the driver, making sure he knows where there going.  
  
Sitting back in his seat he glances at alex, she looks so calm and excited at the same time. He smiles. "I really hope you like this surprise. I'm about 99 percent sure you will." "Just 99 percent? So theres a 1% chance I wont like it and I'll storm out and never speak to you again?" Alex said, her brown eyes shining. "Shut up. You know what I mean." Louis rolled his eyes. Apparently hed met his match as far as sassyness was concerned. They were two peas in a pod.  
  
**Alex POV**  
  
After about 30 minutes they arrived. Alex couldn't see out the cars windows since they were tinted. She knew they were in downtown LA but that's about it.  
  
They were at The Four Seasons. Alex looked around, wondering what Louis could have possibly planned. She was nervous and also excited. "What's going on Lou-" then, she saw her. She saw the woman of her actual dreams. Lilly Singh was sitting at the bar. Alex glanced at Louis who looked so happy with himself. "Go on love, shes expecting you." He said. "W-w-w-hat. Omg. Omg. Omg. Omg. Louis you are the best person in the world omg. I'm gonna cry. No. I cant cry. Not in front of her. Omg. Omg. Omg." Alex blabbed. Apparently just being her proximity was seriously affecting her. Oh God, how was she supposed to get through lunch. When Alex really really liked someone, she couldn't actually go talk to that person. At all. Weather it was a girl or guy it didnt matter, she just couldnt do it. Oh my God. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Alex thought. She took deep breaths to calm her nerves. She was shaking. This was everything.  
  
She said goodbye or something to Louis and walked towards Lilly. Lilly fucking Singh. What was her life.  
  
Heart eyes motherfucker.  
  
She tapped lilly's arm, "hi, I'm alex. I think I'm having lunch with you?" It all came out in a huge rush, she was blushing from head to toe. Every inch of her very aware of Lilly's presence. It wasnt just that Lilly was beautiful on the outside, she was, with long dark brown hair, beautiful brown eyes and a smile that could light up this whole city. She was also beautiful on the inside. She was so giving and caring and kind. She did so much for other people.  
  
"Hi alex, it's nice to meet you. Are you nervous? Please dont be. I'm not that special" Lilly spoke, breaking alex out of her soliloquy about Lilly. "Im a little nervous." Alex admitted. "I've been watching your videos for so long and I've loved them all." "That's so sweet. Your so lovely. I love your purple hair, my mom would have a fit. She would be like "oi Lilly what the bloody hell you do to your hair? Huh? Stupid." She inmaited her mom. Alex laughed so hard she snorted, she gasped covering her face with her hands. She felt embarrassed letting out that snort. Then she felt lilly's warm hands grab her gently "hey, nothing to be embarrassed about. Its okay. I do it too. Now, more importantly where do you wanna eat lunch? I'm fine with pretty much anything." Lilly said. She hadn't let go of Alex's hand and alex was dying. She was. This was how she was going to go. Death by Lilly Singh. Omg. She wants an answer dumb ass. "Umm.. anywhere is fine... just um.. no fish. That's all I ask." Alex finally found her voice. "Chipotle?" Lilly asked. "Yes. That works." Alex replied. Lilly smiled. Alex melted into a puddle on the floor. Dear God she was already so gone for this woman. Lilly got up and "it's like a block away. We can walk there if you want." "Of course."  
  
Lilly went to pay for her soda and alex took a deep breath  & muttered "jesus take the wheel"  
  
They spent a few hours together, laughing and talking, eating amazing Chipotle burrito bowls. Alex was so happy just being around Lilly. She had such a positive energy about her. It was refreshing. Most of Alex's old friends were not great, and the ones she did have well... they didnt get to hang out that much. By the end of it Alex was even more smitten with Lilly. Who knew that was even possible.  
  
"So.. Alex ... I have a confession to make..." alex held her breath "yeah?" "I am finding myself really liking you. Alot. Like I would love it if we could spend more time together. Maybe go on a date?" She said. "Yes please. I would love that." Alex's heart soared. She couldnt believe it. Her crush to end all crushes, not only liked her back but wanted to take her out on proper date. She was on cloud 9.  
  
They walked back to the hotel and alex spotted louis town car sitting at the curb. She turned to Lilly. "I guess I have to go now. Today was amazing. I'm so happy. You're amazing." Lilly smiled. "You're pretty amazing yourself. Give me your number so we can text." Alex pulled out her phone and gave it to Lilly. Lilly put her info in and handed it back to her. "I even texted myself so I have your number. " she said. They hugged, alex pulled back a little and when she did, she brushed her lips against lilly's just testing the waters. She felt Lilly kiss her back. She felt fireworks in the pit of her stomach. "I wanted to do that but I was scared." Lilly said softly. "Well I'm glad one of us made the move" alex smiled. They parted and alex walked over to Louis car with a dopey look on her face. She opened the door and got in. "Someone looks happy." Louis said, smiling at her. She blinked at him. "Yeah... I am." She sighed.."so happy." "Shes.... amazing.... just... everything I want in a person."  
  
"Anyway. How'd your meeting go?" She asked.  
  
"It went well. Still hammering out some details but it's all finally looking up." Louis answered. "I'm so happy for you LoLo, Can I call you that?"she leaned over hugged him. "Yes you can call me that." He hugged her back.  
  
  
**Louis POV**

the meeting could not have gone better. Louis was incredibly happy with the contract they were drawing up.  
  
He pulled out his phone and tweeted  
  
**I think I'm gonna win this time.**  
  
Alex's phone went off.  
  
_Darling just hold on._  
  
"You have my notifications on? And you have my song as your ringtone you are a fan!!" Louis practically shouted, jumping on alex, he was so excited. "Oof. Jesus lulu. I didnt know youd be this excited" she said laughing. He was proud. That song meant alot to him. Louis got off her and sat up. He smiled, crinkles by his eyes and all. He was genuinely happy for the first time since he broke up with harry.  
  
Later that night, louis and alex talked about Lilly and she told him everything about there lunch. And kiss. And he told her everything- well what he could about his meeting. Then they cuddled up on the couch and watched more Supernatural. It was a great day.  
  
Too bad no one could have prepared them for the storm that was coming...  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Twitter if you wanna chat @ATLSPLOVE. 
> 
> ♥️


	9. Were gonna go down in flames....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alot happens.... I'm sorry...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't throw things. Its mean. 
> 
> That said, thank you to everyone who is reading this fic!! It means alot to me. ♥️
> 
> I've mapped it out and it will probably be close to 20 chapters. Not entirely sure. 
> 
> Song for this chapter  
> ♥️Blank Space by Taylor Swift. 
> 
> Theres a Supernatural quote in there.... 
> 
> Also please do not share this with Lilly or anyone affiliated with her or with Louis liam niall or zayn. Or harry. 
> 
> Thanks. ♥️
> 
> Enjoy. 
> 
> *wonders off*

Harry had just talked to Azzoff and everyone who was helping him plan his tour. Hed barley started his promo yet but they were anticipating high album sales. He was happy about that. He just felt like something or someone was missing. It was Louis he knew. He wished he had an ounce of the creative lyrical genius Louis had.  
  
He had pretty much finished the album, having written some of it in Jamaica two months ago. His album was being released in May. So he really had to stop nit picking at it. He was in his home studio, having woken up with a slight cold he didnt really feel like going out. His phone dinged.  
  
_Nick: have you seen this? Who is that girl?_  
He sent him a link to an article from TMZ.  
Harry clicked on it, holding his breath.  
_**Louis mystery friend not into his D after all?**_  
_**We have all seen Louis new girl, she first popped up when Louis flew to Chicago. Apparently they are quite good friends seeing how they were spotted out at the Four Seasons hotel yesterday. Wonder what went on there? A source says Louis was introducing his friend to a another girl. He knew she had a crush on Youtbe sensation Lilly Singh so he made it happen for her. We found out her name is alex and shes genderfluid. Shes also bi. Just like our Louis. So no need worry guys and gals louis is still single!** _  
  
Harry sighed, he was a little relieved that Louis hadnt moved on. Harry was still trying to figure out how to get him back. He scrubbed his hand over his face. He felt like shit, this cold was kicking his arse. He texted nick back  
  
Harry: Why are you showing me that? So what if hes got a new friend. Who cares.  
  
  
_Nick: You care. That's the one you thought he was dating. I remember the name from you whining about it._  
  
Harry: I did not whine. Shut up.  
  
_Nick: you did. Not that you really have a right too. You're the one that hurt him._  
  
Harry didn't respond. He knew that in theory he had no claim over louis. And it was his fault they were apart right now, but that didnt mean he wanted to see Louis with someone else. He really just wanted things to go back to the way they used to be, when him and Louis were together and happy and he felt on top of the world. It was his fault though, as nick and ed kept reminding him.   
  
He sat down on his couch and wrapped a blanket around him, picking up his remote, he turns on the TV. E news was on. Harry rolled his eyes. He knew he should turn it off but then he heard liams name.  
  
"former one direction star liam payne was asked about harry styles upcoming album and sources say he was less than thrilled. The 1D star was asked in an interview if he was excited for harry styles solo album and his response was not exactly cryptic. "I dont know man,  We dont even talk. Some people have pride issues." Payne reportedly said. In other 1D news Louis Tomlinson has been in the studio recording his album and spending time with his new friend, alex. The two were spotted at the Four Seasons hotel just yesterday and looked quite cozy. But Alex was there to meet YouTube sensation Lilly Singh. Tomlinson was in meetings, we were not told what those meetings were about." Pictures of Louis and alex flashed across the screen. They looked so happy in them.  
  
Harry felt jealousy rising in his chest even though he had no right or reason to be jealous. It wasn't rational, him and Louis hadnt spoken in months. Harry tried to reach out to liam but he wasnt answering him either. It felt hopeless, utterly helpless.

***********************  
**Louis POV**  
  
  
Louis woke up to alex frantically pacing around his room. "What's going on love?" He asked, sitting up in bed. "There are pictures of me and you on the internet. On Twitter. I mean shit, I know they care about you but I'm not anybody. Why does anyone care about me?" She was freaking out.  
Louis grabbed his laptop and opened it turning it on. He then pulled up Twitter. Sure enough those pictures were there, along with speculation about alex really was. he sighed. This is why he needed new management so they could better deal with stories like this.  
  
He nervously checked the tweets  
  
_@lwtislife23 girls & guys can just be friends.. jesus. _  
  
_@harrys_girl That bitch is probably just using him. -_- I really hate her._  
  
_@acholwt #larryisreal_  
  
Okay bad idea. He felt very tempted to respond but then he saw someone else beat him to it.  
  
_@Niallirishsun replying to_  
_@harrys_girl you dont even know her. Stop hating on her. Jesus fucking christ. TPWK unless its anyone who comes near the boys RIGHT._  
  
Well shit. Louis thought. He looked at alex who had finally stopped pacing and was smiling like an idiot at her phone.  
  
"So are you okay now or?" He asked, putting away his laptop. He didnt bother checking his phone, he really didnt want to hear what his management had to say. She looked up. "Eh. Lilly says to just ignore all the hate. Shes deals with it alot. I dunno. It just bothers me that people think I'm using you and I'm not. Like even if you werent famous, I'd still be your friend if you let me. I dont care about that stuff." She said, sitting on the edge of Louis bed.

Louis leaned forward and hugged her. "I know your not using me, love. I had to fight you to get to let me pay for your flight & even when you gave in you didnt want first class, I treated you to it because you deserve it. And I'd totally "let you" be my friend no matter what." He said.  
  
  
Later that night Louis suggested going to a club to get there minds off the press bullshit. Alex wasnt much of a club person but she agreed anyway. So they went. Louis called zayn and Liam and niall to come out as well. They were all meeting there.  
  
The club was crowded as it was a Friday night. The DJ was playing a remix of a Drake song. Alex wanted a Cosmo since Lilly had told her about them and highly recommend them.  
  
She went to the bar with Louis, the bartender was cute, he looked like Jensen Ackles or maybe she was just watching too much Supernatural. She nudged louis, "hey the bartender is cute." She wiggled her eyebrows. Louis rolled his eyes. He just wasnt ready for dates. Though he did miss sex. Maybe a one night stand wouldnt hurt. Louis looked up and saw the bartender staring at him. He smiled & walked over to him and Alex. "Hey you two what can I get you." His name tag said Jack. "I'll have a cosmo." "I'll take a beer." "Coming right up." Jack continued to look at Louis. He served Alex her Cosmo and she walked away to go find a table. "That your girlfriend?" Jack asked. Louis shook his head. "No. I'm single." Jack looked happy about this & said "you're so cute. What's your name?" "Louis." "Louis. I like it. Im Jack. I get off in a few. Wanna hook up after?" He asked, giving Louis his beer. Louis took a swig and said "yes. I'll be at a table with my mates." He looked around and spotted Alex, Liam and Niall all at a table in the back. He pointed it out to jack who nodded. "I'll definitely find you, sexy." He winked.  
Louis blushed.  
  
He walked back to the table and he could feel Jack's eyes on his arse. He smirks to himself. He knows he has a nice arse.  
  
"Hey" he greets liam and niall "wheres zayn?" He asks. "Hey lou. He decided to stay home, wasnt feeling it." Liam answered. "Hey lou!!"niall shouted. "Niall. I'm right here. Are you drunk already?" "No. What I cant be happy to see you? It's been years" "it's been days." "Potato patato." Niall waved his hand in air, brushing Louis off. Louis just laughed. He sat down next to alex, who was texting on her phone. "Talking to lilly?" He asked. She blushed. "Shut up LuLu." She put down her phone and took a sip of her cosmo. She looked up. "OMG." She squeaked, her brown eyes huge. She quickly looked back down and picked up her phone, presumably to text lilly.  
Louis looked up from talking to Liam and became tense.  
  
Harry had just walked in. Fuck. He knew this was Louis favorite club in LA. What the fuck. Louis turned back to liam, trying to ignore harry. He felt his anger rising though.

Just then Jack came over "hey Louis." Louis looked up, perfect. "Heyyy. He patted his lap. "You can sit on my lap" When Jack sat down Louis wrapped his arms around his waist. Alex had filled in liam and niall so they werent surprised. "Mm was kinda hoping for this." Jack murmured. Louis smirked. "All in good time" Louis could feel himself getting aroused. Jack turned his head and kissed him. Louis was surprised at first but kissed him back very quickly. He didnt notice harry glaring at him like he wanted to kill jack. They broke apart, "let's go to the bathroom." Louis said breathlessly "hell yes." Jack said quickly standing up and grabbing Louis hand, they ran off to the bathroom.  
  
"Guess someone's getting some of the tommo tonight" Niall said. "I. Am. A Geinus." Alex said, laughing. "Why what did you do?" Liam asked. "I just encouraged him to hook up with jack. I mean the rest was up to him of course.", she said.  
  
Just then a very angry and jealous harry stormed over "Who the hell was that?!?!" Liam and Niall blinked. "Alex do you hear something?" They asked. Alex gulped. She really didnt wanna be in the middle but at the same time Louis was her friend and her loyalty was to him. "Nope." She said. "That's what I thought." Niall said. "WHAT THE HELL. YOU ARE JUST GONNA- "  
He stormed off in the direction of the bathroom. Niall shot up and grabbed him. "LET ME GO." "NO. You have no right to act all jealous and shit. You did this to yourself, arsehole. Louis deserves to be happy." Niall gripped his arm tighter. "I'm not letting you go. Give it up harry. Let louis move on." Harry glared at him. "No. I'm going to fight for him. He belongs with me." "You should have thought of that before you fucked us all over, you selfish piece of shit!!!" Niall very rarely raised his voice but he was beyond angry at harry, not just for Louis but for himself too, for liam and zayn. "Let me fucking go niall" harry tried to yank his arm away only to have liam grab his other one. "No. Fuck you harry. Your so fucking selfish. You ruined it. Move on." Liam snapped.  
  
Just then Louis came out of the bathroom with jack, they both looked fucked out and sastified. Louis was smiling at something Jack was whispering in his ear.  
  
"WHAT THE FUCK LOUIS?!?!?" Harry shouted.  
  
Louis looked up and glared at him. "What the fuck are you angry about  harry. I'm allowed to whatever I want, you prick."  
  
"You belong with me!!" Harry shouted again.  
  
"What the fuck are you a Taylor swift song harry? I do not belong with anyone or to anyone."  
  
"But fate says we should be together."  
  
"I dont give a fuck what fate says, I dont have to be ruled by fate. I can chose freedom" louis snapped.  
  
Harry's face fell. He looked broken. Louis didnt care. He was fed up with Harry's recent behavior, with him in general. Jack was still standing there, he looked lost, but liam was talking to him so that was that. Louis would explain it all himself if jack asked. As it was it felt like a one night stand anyways.  
  
"So now I kept you prisoner or something? Were you trapped in our relationship louis?!"  
  
Louis shook his head. He had to get harry outside, they couldn't do this in the club. Plus he had alex with him who was sitting at the table with niall now. "Let's go outside and talk we cant do this here." He walked over to liam and jack. "I have to talk him-" "louis you dont owe him anything. None of us do." Liam interrupted. "I know. I'm just gonna get closure..." louis said softly. He was so tired of fighting with harry. "Hey, Louis, here's my number, tonight was fun, all things considered, if you want to use it, use it, if not, that's cool too." Jack handed louis his number on a napkin. Louis took it, "okay. Thanks. I'm sorry." He said. Jack said, "dont be. It's not your fault." He walked away.  
  
Louis turned back to harry, sticking the napkin in his pocket. "Let's go."  
  
They all walked out, alex could tell things were tense, and really she felt like it wasnt really her business, so she offered to take an uber back to Louis house. "No love, its okay. You can stay, unless you want to go?" Louis said, "but I could use the support." "If you want me to stay I'll stay. I just dont wanna intrude." "Stay." "Okay."  
  
Alex stood off to the side with Liam and niall. Louis turned to harry.

"To answer your question, no, I am clearly not the one who felt trapped. Though it seems like you did. I didnt want to break up, I didnt give up on us till I was practically forced to, you selfish prick. Oh but you always have to play the victim right? Even when YOU are wrong. Fuck you. Dont call me, dont text me, dont show up at my house. Hear me, harry, we are done. This is all on you." Louis was crying, but not because he was angry anymore, he was just sad, it hurt. It hit him in that moment that they might not ever be friends again and that's why he was crying.

Harry was crying too, " but I love you, I know i messed up, but i love you, i always will louis, i will never ever give up on you, and i will never ever stop fighting for you. I will respect your wishes though. But know that I love you so much."  
  
Louis said nothing,   he wiped his tears, and turned and walked away from harry. He chose freedom. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's my Twitter if you wanna chat  
> @ATLSPLOVE ♥️


	10. I love you. But I dont trust you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry gets in a accident.  
> Louis and alex bond.  
> Some media are wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not condone drinking and driving. If you chose to drink you should use Uber or lyft or call someone to come and get you. NEVER get behind the wheel. It's not worth your life or someone else's. 
> 
> ♥️ Song for this chapter : Last Young Renegade By All time Low. 
> 
> Please do not share with anyone remotely affiliated with the boys or Lilly. 
> 
> *10-4. Over and out*

louis phone rang. He didnt recognized the number. But he picked up anyway. "Hello?" "Hello, is this, Louis Tomlinson?" "Yes this is he." "Hi Mr. Tomlinson, this is Stacy at Mount Sinai Hospital, I'm calling because Harry Styles was brought in a few minutes ago, hes been in a car accident."  
  
**6 hours earlier............**  
  
  
It was almost alexs last day in LA. She was returning to Chicago Sunday. The last few days had been spent doing touristy stuff and getting Louis mind off Harry. Louis even took alex to get a new tattoo. She got All Time Low lyrics on her arm. She was quite happy about it.  
  
They were sitting on Louis deck, being lazy by his pool. Louis slipped his lemonade and sighed. He was writing new songs while Alex was texting Lilly. Apparently Alex was more and more smitten with her, she thought it could really turn into something serious, so serious in fact that they were already making plans for alex to come back to LA to visit Lilly. Louis was happy for her. He wrote down another lyric. So far, he had a lot of songs but hadnt really started recording alot of them. He was still trying to get his management sorted out. It was a long drawn out process. It was also annoying. He knew his fans wouldnt leave him though, he had the best fans in the world.  
  
"Omg louis look at this!" Alex sat up and showed him her phone. It was a newspaper article. About him. He scrubbed his hand over his face, "what's it about?" He asked. " Jack." "Fuck. What?" He grabbed Alex's phone and read.  
_Louis Tomlinson moves on?_  
_Has Louis Tomlinson finally moved on this time?_  
_Last night the former 1D star was spotted at a club in downtown LA, were sources say he was getting cozy with the bartender. "Louis is smitten with him, he wants to take things slow though. But theres definitely something there." The source added "Louis family and friends are so happy for him, they are relieved he finally moved on. They dont want him with harry." What do you guys think? Let us know!_

_What the hell?_ He thought. He hadnt even seen Jack since that night, he had talked to him yeah but just hadnt felt ready to actually do anything about it. "What the bloody hell?! I havent even seen Jack in days." He handed alex back her phone. "I'm sorry, should I not have showed you? I'm really sorry I upset you." Louis looked at her, she looked upset at the mere thought of him being upset with her. "No love I'm not mad at you. I'm just upset because clearly me management isnt doing there jobs and it's taking me longer than I thought to get new management." "I'm sorry this happening though. I hate that you have shitty management." "Yeah. It sucks." Alex got up and walked over and hugged him. "Thanks love." He said softly. Alex's phone dinged. It was Lilly. Of course. She smiled. Lilly was inviting her to hang out with her and her friend Humble.  
  
Louis noticed it and said "someones happy" he smiled. "Yeah... Lilly wants to hang out tonight. But if you dont want me to go I dont have to." Alex said. Louis shook his head "go hang out with her. I'll be fine. I'll have a boys night." "Are you sure?" "Yea love."  
  
Soon alex got ready to go see Lilly. She seemed very nervous and excited at the same time. She also changed her outfit 4 different times. Louis teased her. "You giving me a fashion show? You've changed like 5 times." "Shut up. I have not changed 5 times..... " she looked around. "Maybe 3." "Uh huh." "Shut it." She said, lightly snacking him. Louis laughed. "I'm only teasing love." She was now wearing a black shirt and said iconic on it and black skinny jeans and white adiads. Her hair was just down since it wasnt long enough yet to do anything with. She wore a hoop ring in her nose and she had put her eyebrow ring in. Louis was wearing trackies and a shirt from Niall with him on it. It was a joke gift but it was comfy.  
  
"So I'm gonna take an Uber to her house, and hopefully I wont like embarrass myself in front of her." Alex said, grabbing her copy of Louis key, her wallet and her phone. "Okay love. If you decided to stay over there overnight just let me know. Also let me know when you get there." Louis said. "Okay. What are you gonna do?" Alex asked. "Eh I called Liam earlier, him and Zayn are gonna come round maybe play some Fifa." Alex nodded, checking her phone. "My Uber's here." She hugged him, "bye lulu!" "Bye love" she left.  
  
Louis sighed. It was quite without her here. He walked into the kitchen and pulled a bottle of water out of the fridge. He opened one of his drawers and took out a takeaway menu, he had a few, tonight he was in the mood for Chinese. He picked up his phone and called and once he was done ordering, he walked back into the living room and sat down on the couch with his water. He took a sip. Flicking through the channels there was really nothing on, at least nothing that intrested him, untill he happened upon a Jersey Shore marathon on MTV. Ron and Sam were in the middle of there 15th thousandth fight. Ron was throwing Sam's stuff. Louis gasped. "Jesus christ." He muttered. This episode was extra crazy.  
  
The doorbell rang and Louis got up to answer it, it was his food. He tipped the delivery man and then went back to his living room, setting his bag of food down on his coffee table. Just as Ron was throwing even more of Sam's stuff, louis phone rang. He didnt recognized the number. "Hello?" "Hello, is this, Louis Tomlinson?" "Yes this is he." Who the hell? "Hi Mr. Tomlinson, this is Stacy at Mount Sinai Hospital, I'm calling because Harry Styles was brought in a few minutes ago, hes been in a car accident." Louis was shocked, he felt so much at once. "Is he okay?" He finally managed to ask. "He will be, eventually. Hes stable right now. But he was pretty banged up. He has a broken arm. But he'll live." Louis took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Did you contact his mom?" "Not yet, we usually contact the spouse first, your name was in our file and in his phone. You can come and see him if you want."  
  
They think were married. Louis thought. He remembered when they went for physicals and to get tested. Harry put him down as his in case of emergency. Louis had changed his when they broke up to Lottie, but apparently harry had made no such change. He took a few deep breaths. "I'll call his mum. Thank you for letting me know." He hung up. He was still angry at harry but he also felt sad that harry was hurt. He didnt wish anything bad on him despite what people may think. He tried to calm down as best he could and called Anne. She picked up on the first ring. "Louis?" She asked. "Harry's been in a car accident. Hes gonna be okay but hes pretty banged up. They called me because they think were married. Because we were planning on it." He was crying and he didnt even realize it. He wiped the tears away and focused on Anne. "Oh my God. I have to get a flight out. Oh my God." Anne was understandably freaking out. Eventually louis managed to calm her down enough so she could book the next flight out to LA, which wasnt untill the next morning. "Are you going to see him? I understand if you dont want to...", anne asked cautiously. "I dont know. As angry as I am, I dont want anything bad to happen to him, but I also dont really want to see him. I just.. maybe I can just call. I dont know." Louis said.  
  
**HARRY POV**  
Harry woke up and made the mistake of checking his phone. He regretted it instantly.  
  
_Louis Tomlinson moves on?_  
The headline read. Harry knew he shouldnt read the article but well, he was apparently gluten for punishment.  
_Has Louis Tomlinson finally moved on this time?_  
_Last night the former 1D star was spotted at a club in downtown LA, were sources say he was getting cozy with the bartender. "Louis is smitten with him, he wants to take things slow though. But theres definitely something there." The source added "Louis family and friends are so happy for him, they are relieved he finally moved on. They dont want him with harry." What do you guys think? Let us know!_  
  
Harry put his phone down, tears forming in his eyes. He couldnt believe it, louis had actually moved on. He was too late. He felt broken, like he would never be able to smile again. He got out of bed and went downstairs to his kitchen. He grabbed a bottle of vodka and unscrewed the cap and sat down and started drinking. He didnt want to feel anything. He didnt want to think about Louis. Louis was the love of his life. And he fucked up so badly that Louis didnt trust him anymore. He took another swig of vodka. Thank fuck I dont have anything to do today. He thought. Eventually he stopped drinking and laid down on the couch. He didnt even bother to get dressed. What was the point. He could feel himself spiraling but couldnt stop it. He felt tipsy. Louis was still in his thoughts. So he drank more and more. Till he felt drunk and he couldnt think or feel. He decided he needed to see Louis. Louis was the only one who could save him.  
  
He grabbed his car keys and went out the door. He was stumbling and not coherent but he didnt care. He needed to get to Louis. He got in his car and drove off. He was driving for a few minutes when another car came out of seemingly no where and harry swerved to avoid it and ended up crashing into a tree. He was knocked unconscious by the force of the crash. His last thought was of his mom and Louis.  
  
_Present_ ......  
Louis felt like he was on auto pilot. He didnt really remember getting in his car and driving to the hospital after calling Niall to house sit. Niall, who tried to talk him out of what he was about to do. But to no avail. Now here he was, parked in the parking lot of the hospital, sitting in his car wondering if he should go in or not. He stared at the huge building that was the hospital. If nothing else he wanted to know of Harry was gonna be okay. He took a deep breath and got out of his car and walked into the hospital.  
  
"Hello sir how many I help you?" A lady named Laura asked, smiling brightly at Louis. He couldnt smile back, "Um.. I'm here to see Harry Styles. He was brought in earlier." Laura said "okay let's see here,", she typed Harry's name in. "Hes in room 1031. If you just go down this hall and take a right."she said, handing him a visitors pass. He took it and nodded his thanks.  
  
He walked down the hall and turned right walking till he got to room 1031. He took another deep breath, bracing himself. He opened the door and walked in. Harry was laying unconscious in the bed. He was hooked up to an iv. He looked banged up good. He had bruises on his arms and scratches and scraps. His left arm was in a cast. Louis couldnt see his legs since they were covered by a huge blanket. He walked over to the bed and sat in the chair next to it. He didnt know what to say or do. He just sat there staring at Harry. At the man he thought he knew and a man he once loved - maybe still did - so much.  
His phone dinged with a text. It was alex. Shit. He forgot to call her.  
**Alex: Hey LuLu, forgot to tell you when I got here. But I heard what happen. Niall told me. If you need me I'm here for you & I'm sorry. xx**  
  
_Louis: hey love, sorry. Glad you made there safe though... thank you.. I'm at the hospital...Dont really know what I'm doing here... but here I am...._  
  
**Alex: you're there because at the end of day you love harry louis. Like yes he hurt you, he fucked up, but you can't help that you love him.**  
  
_Louis: yea.  I do._

**Alex : ♥️**  
Louis texted her a heart emoji back and asked her to meet him at the hospital, he really didnt want to be alone. She agreed and told him shed let him know when she was on her way.  
  
Just then harry woke up, "Lou?" He asked, his voice sounded thick from sleep. Apparently they had given him some heavy drugs too. "You're here?"  
Louis looked up, "yes. I came to see if you were really gonna be okay." Harry seemed to be survaying his body and the entext of the damage. "I'm so sore and bruised."he said. "Yeah, the Dr said you're lucky that's all you have is bruises and cuts. She also said they found alcohol in your system harry. What the hell were you thinking drinking and driving? And also why do they think were married?" Louis asked.

"I wasnt, okay. All I was thinking was about getting to you Lou, you're the only one I want. I saw the article and those pictures of you and the bartender. So I drank. And they think were married because I thought wed be married by now Lou. I still think we will be so I'm not changing it." Harry said. 

"Harry....." louis debated with himself weather or not to tell harry the truth and in the end decided to. "I'm not with that bartender. He and I hooked up yes but I havent seen him since that night. I'm not ready yet." Harry looked relieved. Louis sighed. "I really just came because I needed you to be okay." Louis said, standing up, he got a text from alex that she was here, she was waiting in the lobby because she didnt wanna intrude.  
  
"You still love me. You just wont admit it. But that's why you came." Harry said softly.  
  
Louis just turned and walked out closing the door behind him. He just couldnt admit the truth to harry.  
  
He walked down the hall to where alex was sitting. Seeing him, she jumps up and walks over and hugs him. Like a huge bear hug. A hug he didnt know he needed. Neither speak for a few minutes. Then alex pulls back "how is he?" She asked, looking concerned. "Hes gonna be okay. Hes banged up though, broke his arm, got cuts and scrapes. But other than that hes gonna be okay." Louis said. Alex nodded, relieved. "That's good. So how are you?" Louis sighed. "I don't know. He knows why I came, like the real reason, but as much as I love him, how can I be with him if I dont trust him?" Louis eyes filled with tears and he hugged Alex again. "Its okay" she whispered. 

When he finally calmed down, he gave alex his car keys, "I'm in no state to drive, do you think you can manage?" He asked. "Ofc. I can." She smirked. "This means I control the raido" she sing-songed once they were in the car. Louis groaned. "What have I done." "Oh shut up." Alex plugged in her phone and an All Time Low song started. She started singing. "You said your sick and tired of it, it, but I need you morning night and day oh oh I miss you every single way hey hey, we said forever but forever wouldnt wait for us!!!" Louis joined in after a few minutes.  
  
They laughed and sang the whole way home. Louis didnt know where him and harry were gonna end up but he had a feeling they werent as over as he thought. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always if you wish to chat  
> @ATLSPLOVE ♥️


	11. When I'm with you you make me feel like we belong....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Harry's accident.  
> Enter Lima, Zaynie and Nialler. Also Lilly. Also alex leaves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is mostly angst free because after this past weekend, with all the shit happening here - I feel we need it. 
> 
> Also Lilly (the real Lilly) was in a car accident, shes okay but it did shake me up a bit. 
> 
> The songs for this chapter are ( & they are the songs Louis is writting).  
> \- I know you won't - Carrie Underwood  
> \- the heart wants what it wants - Selena Gomez. 
> 
> Once again.THANK YOU to anyone who is reading this fic! I appreciate it so much. ♥️
> 
> It switches POV a few times but I tried to make it clear. Hopefully it's not too confusing. 
> 
> *wonders off*

A few days later Harry was released from the hospital. He deeply deeply regretted drinking and driving. Now his mum thought he had an alcohol problem. He didnt. It was a stupid stupid one time thing. He didnt ever plan on doing it again. When he woke up the day after the accident, hed felt like he gotten run over plus hit in the head with a baseball bat. Point is, It hurt like hell.

He did remember Louis coming to see him the night it happen. He was even more convinced Louis still loved him, he just didn't trust him one little bit, which Harry wanted to change. Somehow.

His arm was hurting, he was lucky, he knew, to have only escaped with minimal injuries and most of the damage to his car. If anything his pride had taken a bigger hit. If a broken arm was the price he was paying for being stupid then so be it. He got out of bed and got dressed. He walked downstairs to make breakfest.

His mum wasnt there, shockingly, shed only been hovering the last few days. He knew she was worried about him and it came from a place of love but really he was fine. He just wanted to be left alone.

His management told him to take the new few weeks off but that next month theyd start promo for his album. They also werent happy that he got drunk and drove. Jeff had yelled at him for over an hour about it. They also made everyone in the hospital sign NDAs so the story wouldnt get out.

The only good thing about being in the hospital was that hed written a song there- well finished it there anyway. It was for Louis. He had a plan for the song. But that would have to wait. For now, he focused on making breakfest, he got out eggs, sausage, and bacon out of the fridge. Plus some grapes and strawberries. He set about making his breakfast. He planned to put the eggs and sausage on a bagel along with the bacon. It was kinda difficult with one good arm but he managed.

He heard his front door open and shut. He sighed. "Harry? Are you up love?" His mom called. "In the kitchen." He replied. She walked in carrying bags of what looked like groceries and then some. "Oh honey let me help you." She said, setting down her bags. "I'm fine mum. I'm not an invalid." He said, putting together his breakfest sandwich. He set his plate down on his table and went to wash some strawberries.

Once done he added them to his plate along with a few grapes. He sat down and started eating. His mum was putting the groceries away.

Once she was done, she sat down beside him and said " you know I have to leave tomorrow morning. I'm just trying to make sure you'll be okay." Harry swallowed. "I know mum, and I will be." He got up and pulled out a bottle of orange juice from his fridge. He uncapped it and took a few sips. Sitting back down, he set the orange juice down and tucked back into his breakfest. Anne just sighed. "Are you sure? Because you dont seem fine and I'm not just talking about you making stupid life threatening decisions." Annne glared at him. Harry sighed. He deserved that. "I'm fine okay. I promise. It was a stupid one time thing. I was upset because I thought Louis moved on but he didnt." "Honey, I know, but you might have to accept that he may not come back to you. That all you might be is friends. I dont want you to go down a dark path because your upset you couldnt get him back." Anne said, putting her hand on his arm gently. Harry pulled his arm away "I'm not going to. I know Lou still loves me. He just doesnt trust me. Which hes got several good reasons for."

"Yes he does..." Anne was worried about harry, she just didnt want him to get hurt or hurt Louis again. She said "Things like trust in a relationship are never easy to fix, it can take years and even if both parties are willing to work at it, sometimes it just doesnt work out. Just be careful is all I'm saying okay love?" Harry just nodded. He knew his mum was right. But deep down he also felt like him and Louis werent like every other couple. They were stronger somehow. He knew they could make it through this storm.

**LOUIS POV**

"What do you wanna do today? I can't believe you have to leave the day after tomorrow. I'm sad." Louis said, pouting. Alex looked up from the book she was reading. It was Lillys book How To Be A Bawse. She loved it, hadnt really put it down. "I'm sorry LuLu. I have to go back to work, it's been a week, My boss is awesome but not that awesome." She said. "Plus I'll be back, I'm already making plans to come see Lilly." "I know. It just sucks, its gonna be quite without you here. You're so loud." She promptly hit him with the book. Louis just laughed, he deserved that. "I really want you to meet Lilly. Shes so amazing, shes beautiful not only outside but inside too. I think I love her... maybe... or something. I dk. Anyway. If it's okay Id like it if we could all hang out. You know you, me, Lilly, zayn, niall, liam... " she said. Louis caught what she said, but he also got the feeling Alex didnt want to talk about it. "Sure love. I can call the boys and have them round. We can all just chill, watch movies or summat." Louis replied. "That would be awesome. I'm gonna call Lilly."

Alex jumped up and grabbed her phone. She called Lilly. "Hey babe what's up?" Lilly answered the phone. "Hey love, If your not too busy today would you like to come to Louiss and hangout with me and him and his friends?" Alex played with a pen she found on the coffee table, clicking it over and over. Her anxiety was bad right now but shed never tell louis or Lilly that. "Sure. I've actually just finished sending all the emails I need to, I just have to take care of Scarbrough then I'm free for a bit. What time do you want me to come?" Lilly asked. "Around 6ish or um as soon as you can?" Alex asked. Lilly giggled a little, "I'll come right after I play with Scarbrough and let him out." Alex let out a breath she didnt know she was holding. "Okay." She knew she was smiling so big and cheesy. "Okay see you soon babe." "Okay love bye" they hung up and alex looked up and saw Louis was sitting in his armchair. He was also smirking. "Shut up. " alex said. "I didnt even say anything.", louis protested. Alex squinted at him. "Okay fine. I'll shut up. " Louis said, still smirking. "And wipe that smirk off your face. That is rude the house." Alex called back as she was walking to go upstairs and take a shower and get dressed. Louis just laughed "you cant even see me." He muttered. "I heard that." Alex called back. "You were meant to!" Louis said.

He heard the guest room door shut and picked up his phone to call Liam. "Hello Liam . What are you doing today?" "Hi lou. Nothing much. Why?" "Alex wants to introduce us to Lilly. So you and zayn and Niall should come over." "Okay sounds good. Me & Zayn will be coming together. Did you call Nialler yet?" "No. Did you and Zayn finally get your shit together?" "Shut up. Yes." "Oh liam you should know by now I'm going to tease you relentlessly for this." Liam sighed. "I know." They talked for a few more minutes and then hung up. Louis then called Niall. "HIYA LOU!"Niall practically shouted. "Hi nialler, alright?" "Alright lou. What's up?" "Want to come over and meet Lilly? Alex wants to introduce us all. Liam and Zaynie are coming." "Hells yes. I've been dying for this moment. What time?" "6ish" "I'll be there!" Niall hung up. Louis stared at his phone, he just knew Niall was gonna show up long before 6.

Alex took seemingly forever to get ready but in the end decided on a black All Time Low shirt, jeans and Adidas. She was nervous. She really wants the boys to liked Lilly, and vice versa. Louis assures her that they will all probably love each other.

"No one can resist my cheekbones or Niallers Irish charm"

Alex smiled. Then the doorbell rang, sending her into panic mode. "Omg omg omg omg" "Calm down love, breathe." Louis said, going to answer the door. He opened it, it was Niall and Liam & Zayn. "Hey boys." He opened the door wider so the boys could come in. Alex walked over "Hey guys." She greeted them. Niall hugged her "hi al. Can I call you Al?" "Yes Niall" then lian and zayn hugged her too. "Nice to see you again" They all filed into Louis living room. He sat on couch next to alex with Niall on the other side of her. Liam and Zayn were sharing Louis armchair. They all started chatting, conversation flowing easily.

The doorbell rang again.

Alex went pale.

"OMG OMG OMG OMG WHAT THE FUCK. OMG. OMG." She was freaking out & also turning into Shane Dawson apparently. "Love, calm down." Louis said, placing his hand on her shoulder. "Its gonna be okay, I promise. Do you want to answer the door?" Alex shot up and practically ran to the door. Louis chuckled to himself. She came back with Lilly behind her. Lilly had on a t shirt that said "team super conquer" , ripped jeans and sneakers. She was beautiful in Alex's very non biased opinion. "Everyone this is Lilly. Lilly, this is Liam, Zayn, Niall and Louis" her voice was shaking, her hands were shaking. Louis was low key worried she was gonna have a panic attack. But then Lilly took her hand and she instantly relaxed.

**ALEX POV**

They all started talking, Lilly sitting next to Alex and Niall moving the other chair. It was nice, it felt like things were going really well, which made alex really happy, because she really really liked Lilly. The only other person she had ever fallen for this hard, this fast ended up breaking her heart. So she was scared but also determined not to ruin this. Lilly was everything she wanted in a partner, she was independent, funny, caring, goofy, kind, and just overall had an an amazing energy. "Alex?" Lilly tapped her arm "what? Sorry my mind drifted away." Alex said. Lilly smiled, "were talking about ordering some food" she said. Louis spoke up "yeah from Veggie Grill for Lilly and some pizza or summat for us." Lilly was a vegetarian. "Oh I've always wanted to try Veggie Grill but we dont have them in Chicago."

Once the food was ordered, pizza for the boys and Veggie Grill burgers and fries for alex and Lilly, they all decided to watch the first Spider Man movie. Alex laid her head on Lillys shoulder, Lilly moving to put her arm around her and pull her closer. Alex smiled. She was so happy everyone was getting along. The night was going really well. The food came not long after the movie started and they all dug in. "This burger is so good!" Alex exclaimed. "I didnt know what to expect but damn." Lilly smirked "I told you" alex rolled her eyes. "Yea yea yea"

The next two days Alex spent with Lilly and the boys. On her last night in LA, Lilly took her out on a proper date. Alex was smitten. She really wanted this to work. She was happier than shed been in a long time.

**LOUIS POV**

After alex left, Louis felt it. It was so quite in his house. He never realized it till now. He missed her already. It was kinda lonely in this big house all by himself. Just then his phone rang. "Hello" "HELLO LEWIS!!!" Louis smiled "hi Nialler." "Are ya busy right now?" "No" "good. I'm coming over." Niall hung up. Louis just laughed. Hed act surprised but really all the boys did that.

A half hour later Niall had arrived. "Hey Nialler, alright?" "Yep. What are you up to?" "Not much. Just cleaning a bit. I took Alex to the airport earlier. " niall nodded. "Its quite without her here, " he said. "Yeah." "So I take it you havent been online?" "No. Why? Should I be panicking?" "The press is something else I'll tell ya." Niall said, pulling out his phone. He pulled up the article & handed his phone to Louis. "Alex is going to freak...."

**Lilly Singh no longer single?** _Louis Tomlinsons bff was spotted out with youtuber, actress, comedian, Lilly Singh. The two were spotted at Crazy Rockin Sushi in LA looking very cozy. A source says "they are really into each other. There both smitten, but are taking it slow. Louis is beyond happy for alex." Louis, who as we reported earlier this week, had a thing going with a bartender, but that seems to have fizzled out according the source. "Louis is single, he had fun with the bartender but they both knew it wasnt going anywhere. Louis family just does not want him with harry"_

What the actual fuck? Louis thought.

There were pics of alex and Lilly, holding hands, leaning in close to each other, smiling happily, looking very much like a new couple. He handed Niall back his phone. Alex hadnt landed in Chicago yet. But he sent her a text telling her to call him as soon as she could. He sighed. "I told her to call me as soon as possible. This is why I need new management, I feel like I've been waiting forever." Niall patted his back, "itll be okay Lou. I know this new management will come through. It's just gonna take time. Meanwhile tell alex not to freak out too much." "Yeah. Shes so new to this nialler. Shes not used to people she doesnt know taking an interest in her life. Not like us. Remember when we first started and the rumors used to bother us so much?" "Yeah it was rough for a while. We got used to though. Eventually."

Him and Niall decided to spend the rest of the day playing Fifa and eating copious amounts of junk food. As one does when one is stressed. Alex finally called him a few hours later. Predictably freaking out. "I dont get why the media cares about me. I'm nobody. I'm not trying to be famous, Like I have severe anxiety, I cant do that. Also Lilly is a very private person when it comes to relationships, I wanna respect that. I dont know what to do LuLu." She said, sounding like she was crying a little. "Take deep breaths love, its gonna be okay. I'm sorry this happened. I guess they care about you cause your friends with me. Whatever you do though do not look at any social media. It's not going to help you." "Too late. That's why I'm crying. The things people are saying.... God. Half of them are tearing me apart, the other half are supportive but then theres some in the middle who just dont care." "I'm sorry love. I know it's hard to deal with." "Can you like call Justin Beiber and tell him to do something crazy? Isnt he getting married? Or something. I dunno, my friend Hannah was telling me. I dont pay attention when she talks about celebs." Louis heard a indignant "hey!" In the background and the sound of a slap. "Ow. You hit too damn hard. Jesus." Alex muttered. Louis smiled a little. "Thank God I'm back in Chicago. This is a huge city and we dont have any gossip mags based here. Though I guess they could travel...." she groaned. "I dont think they do that."

While Alex was talking Louis had pulled out his laptop and searched his name, and the first story that came up was about Harry's car accident. Apparently Harry's mechanic didnt care about NDAs. "Voldemorts car accident story got leaked so that will definitely take the heat off you." Alex breathed a sigh of relief. " oh thank fuck. I mean, I'm sorry he was in an accident but ya know..." "yeah. I know." Louis said softly, closing the article. "Are you okay LuLu?" She asked. "I don't know, its weird, ever since that night, when he told me he knew I still love him, I dunno I feel like me & him arent done you know? I cant explain it." "You think all that fate stuff he was saying is true? But then what Zayn said was also true." "Zayn literally stole that from SPN" "yeah but it applies." "I dont know if I believe it, all i know is me & him, I dont think our story is done. That's all." They continued chatting for a bit then Alex got tired because she was once again jettlagged the house so they said goodbye and hung up.

Louis sighed. He was itching to write a song  Hed had some lyrics floating around in his head earlier. He grabbed his notebook and a pen and started writing. He had quite a few songs about harry.

Two were more personal than the others. 

_"I know you dont mean to be mean to me...."_

& the one he was writing now was

 _The bed's getting cold and you're not here_.

The future that we hold is so unclear. He grabbed his guitar and started strumming a bit. "Those songs about Voldemort?" Niall asked, startling louis. He sighed. "Yeah. I think I'm gonna record them." "Can I see the lyrics?" Niall asked, sitting down next to him on the couch. "Yea". Louis handed niall his notebook, which was open to the latest one.

Niall started reading. "Wow. The little bit you've got, is damn good. I'm just sorry you had to go through all that shit to write it." Louis smiled "it all made me stronger I think. Or it will. Supposedly." Niall nodded. "Yeah. That's what they say."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, @ATLSPLOVE if you wish to chat.


	12. Promises are broken....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis records a song.  
> Harry deals with backlash. 
> 
> I'm sorry.... :/

The next day Louis went into the studio to record more songs for his album. He had a few done, but he wanted more than 10 tracks on it. He snapped a pic of the inside of the studio & posted it on Instagram with the caption: I think I'm gonna win this time....  
  
He decided to record What the heart wants, weather it would make it onto the album was another situation entirely. But it was a slow, piano ballad that he wrote about harry. Recording it was proving to be hard. It was a very personal & emotional song. "Just take your time. I can tell this is hard for you." Julian said. Louis took a deep breath. "Okay. I'm ready."  
  
"Remember even if you sound like your going to cry the first time we can always re do it. It's not a problem." Julian said gently. He put the music back on and watched as Louis prepared himself to start singing.  
  
"The bed's getting cold and you're not here. The future that we hold is so unclear. But I'm not alive until you call  
And I'll bet the odds against it all. Save your advice 'cause I won't hear. You might be right but I don't care. There's a million reasons why I should give you up. But the heart wants what it wants  
The heart wants what it wants"  
  
Louis sang it with so much emotion behind it. You could hear his voice breaking. It was painful but beautiful at the same time.  
  
"That was perfect. Even though your voice broke, it lent emotion to the song. I almost cried. I really did." Julian said. Louis chuckled though it felt forced. "I dont know if I want a version where my voice breaks." "Like I said we can re record it, but I do think you should keep this version for yourself." Louis nodded his agreement.  
  
The door to the studio opened, it was Liam. "Hey Lou, alright?" "Yeah, what's up Lima?" Liams face scrunched up at the nickname. "I came to see how it was going, just here for support." Louis came out of the recording booth and walked over to liam and hugged him. He started crying, he couldnt help it, it was the song, mostly, combined with a year of hurting over harry. Liam held him. "Its okay mate, I'm here for you." He said, loud enough for only Louis to hear.  
  
Louis took a breathe, he was a little shaky. "I wish I didnt feel anything for him sometimes. It would be so much easier to hate him completely. But I don't. I cant." Liam held him tighter. "I know." He said softly.  
  
Louis decided to go home for few days, to see Lottie and Fizzy and the rest of his siblings. He thought it would be good to get away. He just wished he get away from his thoughts.  
  
  
                              \\\\\\\\\\\ 

"What the hell were you thinking? How could you not have your mechanic sign an NDA?! Its like you want to ruin your career harry. What is going on with you? " Jefff placed back and forth in his office. He scrubbed his hand over his face, glaring at Harry. Harry was quite sitting in a chair in front of Jeff's desk. Jeff's office was huge, with huge windows that looked out over LA. Harry sighed. "Do you want to ruin your career? Because I'm sure that will happen if you continue down this road" "No I dont. I just wasnt thinking." In reality, he had had his mechanic sign a NDA, but when he saw the news about Louis, well about Alex, he felt like he had to protect them both so he told his mechanic to rip up the NDA and just tell the press. He really didnt care about himself at this point. He just wanted Louis back, he was probably headed for a downward spiral but hed deal with that later. Right now, Jeff was yelling and looking pretty pissed off at him. He tuned back in. "I dont know what goes on in that head of yours! Why you wouldnt think of this stuff or at least call me so I could have told you to do it. Christ sake Harry are you listening to me?" Jeff stopped pacing and glared at him, arms crossed on his chest. "Yes." Jeff rolled his eyes. "No your not. I know when your head is somewhere else. Are you really going to jeopardize your career for a boy?!? One that doesnt seem to want anything to do with you at that." Jeff snapped. Harry felt so broken in the moment. He got up and walked to the door.

Jeff glared at him and said "fine. Leave. But we are meeting next week to talk details of your tour. That is if your still interested in having a career."  
  
  
Harry just walked out.  
  
Sometimes Jeff was too much. He just needed time and space to heal from all this. That's all. Yes he fucked up (according to jeff) by having the story get out but after years of Louis being dragged through the mud at his expense, he felt it was the least he could do. He took the elevator down and walked to parking garage, got in his car and drove home.  
  
When he got home he decided to check Twitter and see if anyone was talking about it. He instantly regretted that decision.  
  
_@nialllovex I cant believe harry has a drinking problem. Jesus. What a role model. Anyway stream This Town for clear skin._  
  
_@hscurlybby yall leave harry alone. Hes just obviously going through a hard time._  
  
_@larryhslwt guys do you think Harry was drinking bc Louis was spotted out with someone else? Like maybe he got jealous and yeah._  
  
_@curliesmiles replying to_  
_@larryhslwt No. Cause Larry isnt real._  
  
It went on. Harry sighed. He knew he shouldnt check the articles but apparently he was gluten for punishment.  
  
  
**Harry styles has drinking problem! Manager speaks out!**  
_As we reported earlier this week, harry styles was in a car accident. He was allegedly driving while intoxicated. Well now his manager, jeff azoff is confirming it. A source close to Azoff says 'jeff is really worried about harry. Hes scared he might go off the rails. If harry doesnt get help, jeff might drop him.' The source also claims that several of Harry's close friends are also worried about him. 'They dont know what to do. Hes always drinking. Every day all day. They are scared." Well we wish harry all the best and hope he gets help._  
  
Harry's mouth was open in shock. What the hell?! Not one word of that article was true. Besides Jeff being worried about him, but that wasn't because of his drinking. He dialed Jeff's number. "You just left my office what you could poss-." "What the hell are these articles?!?! Why arent you and everyone else doing there jobs?!?! I know I'm not perfect and I'm going through a hard time but they are literally saying i have a God damn drinking problem and i dont!!!" Harry shouted. "Calm down. What are you talking about? What articles? Hold on."

He heard the click of a keyboard.

"Oh fuck.  I'm gonna need you to release a statement Harry. And I'll release one too. Say you did drink, but only once and you're fine. I will state I'm not going to drop you as a client. The reason im worried about you is not because of you making a stupid mistake." Jeff said, sounding extremely pissed off. "Type up your statment right now so we can release it asap. I'll send you a copy of mine as well. We need to start promo for you like now. I know your arm is broken so I dont want to push you too hard, but do you think you could just do a radio interview or two? Maybe one with Nick? And one with Special K?"

Harry sat down on his couch. "Yeah I can do that. Just two interviews though. I cant quiet play guitar yet."

"Yes I know. I'm sorry this is happening Harry. The press are ruthless. Work on your statment and I'll set up the interviews." Jeff hung up. 

  
And I thought things couldn't get any worse.... Harry thought. Turns out he was wrong. But things had to improve right? He really hoped so.  
  
  
  
                                \\\\\\\\\\\\\  
  
Louis had a nice time visiting his family. It was good for him to get away from LA every once in while. It could get extremely overwhelming and toxic. He was so grateful for his sisters and his friends from home. They kept him sane. Alex was also a huge help. She had been there for him. Along with the boys.  
  
At LAX hed been bombarded with questions about Harry's accident. Hed stayed silent though. Now he was at his LA house waiting for Zayn & Liam to come over. Hed already started doing his laundry from his long weekend home and cleaning up his whole house. He had a cleaning service but sometimes when he was stressed he would clean it all himself.  
  
He took a shower, washing away the airplane stink, and maybe all the negative vibes. He dressed in a black shirt that said no smile no service on it. It showed off his tan and his biceps. He paired it with black skinny jeans and Adidas shoes. He walked downstairs to his living room. He curled up on his couch and turned on the telly. E news was on, he sighed.  
  
"More details came out about Harry's styles accident, and now he and his manager both put out statements. Harry saying quote 'I dont have a drinking problem. Yes I got into a bad accident but it isnt a recurring thing. Its not an issue.' His manager backing him up saying quote 'I am not dropping harry as a client, I would appreciate if TMZ would stop jumping to conclusions. Harry does not have a drinking problem.' We reached out to friends of harry and one had this to say 'The only problem he has is his pride and his ego are too big to fit his body.'"  
  
Louis changed the channel after that. He stopped on 13 going on 30. He liked this movie, it was cute.  
  
Louis heard his front door open and close "louie!!!" Zayn called. "In the living room" louis called back. Zayn and Liam walked in. "What's up mate?" Zayn leaned down and hugged him. Liam did the same. "Watching this movie. Alright you two?" Zayn nodded. "What movie- oh! This is a good one." He said, sitting down on the couch next to Louis. "Yeah." "So how are the girls? How was your weekend?" Liam asked. "It was nice to see them. Lottie dyed her again, its now pink. Fizzy has a new boy in her life. Everyone's good." "That's good mate. I'm glad you got to see them." Liam said. "Yeah me too mate. You okay?" Louis glanced at Zayn. "I dont know. I'm very confused. My heart doesnt want to forget him, but head is like you're an idiot if you go back to him. He doesnt deserve you." "I'm sorry Lou. You do deserve to be happy. I dont know if hes the person that will do that but if you decide it is then I'll support you. Like no matter what." Zayn said.  
Louis turned off the TV. "I recorded a song today. I kept one version for myself, a different one is going on the album, one that my voice does not crack in. Can I play it for you?" "Yeah of course." Zayn and Liam both nodded.  
  
Louis pulled the recording Julian had sent him on his phone. He was a little nervous but he knew zayn and liam would be supportive.  
  
_You got me sippin' on something_  
_I can't compare to nothing_  
_I've ever known I'm hoping_  
_That after this fever, I'll survive_  
_I know I'm acting a bit crazy_  
_Strung out, a little bit hazy_  
_Hand over heart, I'm praying_  
_That I'm gonna make it out alive_  
  
_The bed's getting cold and you're not here_  
_The future that we hold is so unclear_  
_But I'm not alive until you call_  
_And I'll bet the odd's against it all_  
_Save your advice, 'cause I won't hear_  
_You might be right, but I don't care_  
_There's a million reasons why I should give you up_  
_But the heart wants what it wants_  
_The heart wants what it wants_  
  
_You got me scattered in pieces_  
_Shining like stars and screaming_  
_Lighting me up like Venus_  
_But then you'd disappear and make me wait_  
_And every second's like torture_  
_Hell over trip no more, so_  
_Finding a way to let go_  
_Baby, baby, no, I can't escape_  
  
_The heart wants what it wants_  
_This is a modern fairytale_  
_No happy ending, no wind in our sails_  
_But I can't imagine a life without_  
_Breathless moments breaking me down_  
_Down, down, down_  
  
Louis pressed stop. He was crying. Liam was crying. Zayn was crying. "I didnt even... " zayn hugged him tight. "I'm so sorry lou." Liam came over and sat on the other side of Louis so he was sandwiched between them and they both held him. All louis knew in that moment is that he still loved harry and probably always would, he just wasnt sure he could ever trust him again  & a relationship without trust was doomed. Was love enough to fix them or was it just too late?   
  
  
  
  



	13. Honestly.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry finally apologizes.... like an actual apology... 
> 
> Louis writes & records a new song. 
> 
> Alex , Niall and Liam are there (:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I KNOW I KNOW... it's been 84 years.... I hope you all are still with me... I just needed extra time with this chapter.. got some personal stuff going on so it just took me a minute. ♥️
> 
> ♥️Song for this chapter: Honestly by Gabbie Hanna. 
> 
> That song is so effing good. If you dont know it listen to it. Trust me. 
> 
> The mag that alex writes for is fictional &\- totally not named after a Jonas Brothers album .... 
> 
> Also wanna send all my love and strength to everyone who is affected by the fires in California and by the shooting. ♥️

_a month later......_

 

_"Saving people..hunting things. The family business.."_

As the intro for SPN played, Alex was sprawled on her couch with Chinese food and a blanket. It was raining out and alex felt like it was the perfect time for a SPN marathon. Well anytime was really. She watched as Dean and Sam talked about the newest case they were going to take on. Shed been back in Chicago for a month now and she missed Lilly so much already. They talked alot, at least as much as lillys crazy work schedule would allow.

Alex's work schedule had been crazy too, her boss wanted to give her a promotion, it was long overdue. Alex worked at a very high end fashion magazine as a writer. Shed been writing for Lines & Vines for a while now, she just wasnt sure if it was what she wanted. She wanted to write about something more than weather or not Kim Kardashian or Demi Lovato wore a dress better. She didnt care about that stuff. Yes she loved pop culture but had gotten into politics as well. She continued watching as Sam and Dean hunted an angry spirit. 

Just then her phone rang. "Hello" she answered without looking at who was calling since she was totally absorbed in the show. "Hey love what's goin on?" Louis said. "Hi LuLu, I'm watching SPN right now. " she paused the episode. "What's up with you?" She could hear rustling as Louis moved. "I'm just leaving the studio, had another day of writing and recording and bothering liam." Alex smiled, she was really proud of Louis and knew his album was going to be amazing. "That's awesome. I'm so happy for you lou." "Yeah, I'm so proud of how it's coming along." She could tell he was smiling. They chatted for a bit longer before Louis had to go since lottie was calling him. Alex turned SPN back on, smiling to herself. She was happier than shed been in a while.

                             ///////// 

Louis was so glad to be home. It had been a very long week at the studio. He was so proud of his album. And things were moving along, albeit slowly in his hunt for new management. It was such a long process but Louis didnt want to settle for just any management, He wanted one that wouldnt use his love life for promo, he deserved that. His phone rang, it was harry. Louis stared at it, he hadnt heard from him in a month, not since that disastrous night at the club. He didnt answer. Louis turned on his TV and tried to get his mind off harry. His phone rang again. It was harry. Again.

Louis sighed. "What the fuck am I doing." He muttered, picking up the call. "Harry what do you want?". "Lou." Louis waited for him to continue. He didnt. "What harry."louis prompted.

"Lou, I um.. I didnt expect you to answer... I wanted to say I'm sorry for everything. I know its about a year too late, but I am so so sorry. I know I'm sorry is probably not enough, I know I hurt you, I made you think you werent a priority and I lied to you alot, but I want you, no, I need you to know that you are a priority and you mean more to me than anything, and I'm sorry it took me so long to realize it. I'm sorry I made you feel less than. You are everything to me Louis. And I will spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you. If you will let me.." he stopped talking.

Louis let out a breath hed been holding. Harry was finally saying everything Louis had wished for him to say all those months ago, he just didnt know if it was too late or not. He did feel like he couldnt not have harry in his life. That was the only thing that was clear, but in his life as what? A friend? Maybe. It was also clear that Louis still didnt trust him, hed lied about small things, big things, it was alot. But maybe, maybe they could work towards being friends.

He sighed. "Lou if you dont wanna talk I understand, I can let you go..." harry spoke up again interrupting louis inner dialogue. "No.. no.. I just... I had to gather my thoughts." Louis finally found his voice. He cleared his throat. "Look, first, I wanna say I really do truly appreciate you apologizing to me. I've been thinking alot about us, about our relationship, and right now all I can give you is working towards being friends. I dont trust you, I'm still hurt, but I also realized I cant completely cut you out of my life." Louis said, his voice breaking a little. "If that's what you want, we can do that Louis. All I want is a chance to prove that I've changed." Louis took a deep breath. "Okay harry. This is it. This is your last chance with me, if you fuck up again, in anyway, we are really truly going to be done." "I know Lou. I wont fuck this up." Harry sounded like he was crying. "Okay." Louis said. "I've gotta go, Ive got Zayn coming round. I'll talk to you soon though okay." "Ok louis." They said there goodbyes and Louis hung up.

He immediately called Zayn. "Please come over now.. I need you..." louis said, crying by now. "I'm coming." Zayn hung up.

Louis called Alex. "Hey LuLu, what's up?" "Alex...." "what's wrong? Breathe." "Harry. He finally said he was sorry. I.. I dont know if I completely buy it... but a huge part of me, wants to believe him. So I said, we could work on becoming friends. I dont trust him, but I just... I realized I cant just cut him out of my life." "Oh LuLu, I wish I could hug you right now. I support your decision of course, I mean I'm always on your side. I really hope he was/is sincere. If he hurts you again, he will have to deal with me. Us latinas are crazy..... kinda.. well not really... i am.. a little.. you get my point." She said. Louis smiled a small smile. Alex really was a true blue. Just then Louis doorbell rang and Zayn walked in. "Loueh what's goin on?" "Is that Zayn?" Alex asked. "Yea I called him right before I called you. Just needed to not be alone." Louis answered. "Gotcha. So I'll let you go talk to zayn, tell him hello from me. Text me or call me if you need anything okay? Doesnt matter if it's the middle of the night and all you wanna do is scream into the phone- though if you're gonna do that, just warn me first so I dont go completely deaf." Louis laughed. "Will do love. Talk soon." "Bye LuLu." "Bye love". He hung up.

Zayn hugged him. "What happened lou?" "Harry called me." Louis took a deep breath. "Whatd he say?" They walked over to Louis couch and sat down. "He apologized. He laid it all out. I want to, I need to believe hes sincere. So I told him that while I dont trust him, I also dont feel like I can completely cut him out of my life, so were working towards being friends." Louis said, fiddling with his phone. He looked at Zayn, who had a thoughtful look on his face. He sighed. "I dont necessarily like this, but, I support you. If this is what you want, then fine. But if that fucker hurts you again I'll personally cut his dick off."Zayn said. Louis chuckled, "let's hope it doesnt come to that." 

They spent the rest of the afternoon hanging out and binge watching Game Of Thrones.

 

Louis woke up the next day feeling better than he had in months. He didnt know if it was because harry finally apologized or if he was simply allowing himself to be happy. He chose to believe it was a bit of both. Today he was doing some writing. Louis took a shower and got dressed in an adiads tracksuit. He wore a white t shirt under the hoodie. He ate some cereal for breakfast then grabbed his keys, wallet and phone and headed out.

Upon arriving to the studio he got out of his car and walked in, finding Liam and Niall already there. "Hey lads alright?" "LOUEH!!" Niall all but shouted enthusiastically. "Hey Lou. Dont mind him, hes had too much coffee." Liam greeted him. Louis laughed. "I couldnt tell. Hi Nialler." Niall hugged him tightly. He let go and went "Let's make some magic!!" Louis smiled. It was almost impossible to be sad around Niall. They were both there for mostly moral support but also he wanted to write a song with both of them. Liam was working on his own music as well.

They all sat down on bean bag chairs with notebooks and laptops and pens. Louis opened his laptop and started it up. He had written a few lyrics last night after harry called. He didnt know if he was going to use them but yeah.

_Got me second guessing everything you say Thinking that I know you, but you're really a stranger Doing what you gotta do to get your way You're reckless and selfish and you can't help it. Say you're talki_ _ng to me Honestly. But your lying to me constantly._

He loved the lyrics & how they fit how angry he was. Course that was just part of the song. The rest had come to him earlier and he recorded a voice memo on his phone. He picked it up now and opened the voice memo app and pressed play.

_White lies, but they're getting dark Blurred lines, but they're getting clearer Just tell the truth, hey, it's not that hard You call me crazy, so am I crazy? Your words don't hold any weight I can't seem to get a straight answer Don't trust you, but who's to blame? I think you're crazy, but am I crazy._

"That is a damn good song Louis." Liam said. Louis jumped, he had all but forgotten liam and niall were even there. "Thanks mate, I wrote it last night and I think its gonna go on the album. Might even call the album after it." Louis said. "Awesome. Have you sorted your management yet?" Niall asked. "I'm working on it. Definitely going to happen, just a slow process." Niall nodded. "Its a bit tricky with that shit but I know you're gonna start winning Tommo. You deserve to." Louis smiled. "Thanks Nialler." "Awww that was sweet niall." Liam commented. "Shut up Liam." Louis & niall said in unison. Liam laughed.

They continued working on there individual songs well into the night. Louis even recorded part of his new song. It was called Honestly.

It was 8 when Louis finally said "dunno about you lads but I'm starving. Wanna get some food?" "Sure Tommo." Niall said, closing down his laptop. He was curled up on the sofa, Louis was sitting in a big comfy chair, and Liam was on the floor. "Sounds good." Liam said, texting on his phone.

They all gathered up there stuff & locked up the studio.

They all walked outside, it was a bit chilly, the sky now a deep blue. "Do you boys wanna go out or order in or what?" "Let's go out." They all agreed on Nandos.

After dinner they all parted ways and Louis went home. He was so excited about his new song.

He texted Alex.

**Hey love are you awake?**

_Yes LuLu I'm always awake. Insomnia is a fickle bitch. What's up_.

**Can I call you?**

_Ummmmmmm YES._

He dialed her number. "Hey LuLu." "Hey love. I wanted to share my new song with you." Alex clapped. "Yes please. Oooh am I hearing it before the public?" "Yea, the only other people who have heard it are Liam & Niall & my producer, Andy." "Gotcha. What's the song called?" "Its called Honestly." Alex whooped. "Okay hit me." Louis laughed, he loved her enthusiasm and unwavering support for him.

He opened his laptop and sent the file to her. "Its not done yet, but I'm so proud of it. Im thinking it might be the album name." "Awesome. I'm so happy for you LuLu. I'm opening the file now, I'm so excited omg." Alex sounded like she was barley holding in her glee. He heard the opening notes of the song start.

Alex didnt say anything for a few minutes, letting the song play. When it was done she said "Holy shit that is a damn good song. I felt that in my soul." "I'm so glad you like it love." "Like it? I love it. I'm guessing I'm not allowed to share this with anyone else right?" "You can play it for Lilly and that's it." "Okay. I got a good feeling about this song. It's about damn time you start winning, highly deserved and long overdue." Louis smiled, he was beaming. "Thank you love that means alot coming for you. Niall said the same thing." "Niall is a wise man." Alex cracked. They both laughed.

They talked for a little while longer then hung up.

Louis took a shower, and pulled on a pair of boxers laying down on his bed, falling alseep for the first time in months with a small smile on his face. It was definitely high time for him to start winning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always if you wanna talk   
> @ATLSPLOVE


	14. Begging you to stay.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex makes moves.  
> Louis is confused.  
> Is this a soap opera? Probably.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been like a month since I updated so I made this chapter long af. Thank you for being patient with me. 
> 
> Happy new year. May 2019 be far better than 2018. #Michelle2020? 
> 
> Theres some SPN quotes in there as well as Joe Jonas lyrics. Kudos to those who can pick them out. 
> 
> songs for this chapter are  
> \- Sorry by the Jonas Brothers. (Who are now all married. I feel old. )  
> \- Wasted by the summer set. 
> 
> Okay enough rambling. 
> 
> 🙏🏽

Louis stood frozen, having just heard the song harry wrote for him. He didnt know what to think or how to feel. The song was heartbreaking, but they had just started being semi friends again. Louis was so confused. He sighed. He didnt know if he could actually face harry after that. Why had he agreed to come here in the first place?

_6 hours earlier......_

 

Louis was in the studio recording Honestly. He finished the song a few days ago and had decided to name the album after it.

" _Say you're talking to me honestly but your lying to me constantly, oh, all the bullshit I dont need it and honestly, I don't believe it, nah. Say you're talkin' to me honestly. But I don't want your dumb apology, no. Say you're sorry, you don't mean it. Sorry but I don't believe it, nah." "Say too much, but it's not enough. Got me wondering, what all are you hiding? Did you lie when you called it love? Or am I crazy? Somebody save me."_

"That was blooody sick mate!!" Julian exclaimed after Louis finished. "I know, I wrote it." Louis laughed. "Bloody brilliant song writer you are. Have you written anymore?"

"Yeah. Of course. Got like 30 songs right now. Just narrowing them all down is hard. But, I wanna tell a story with this album, so some of them arent from personal experience, but they are all good imo, and in Liam and Nialls as well." Louis said, taking off his headphones and stepping out of the recording booth.

"Can I see some of them? Had no idea you wrote that much. Good on you." Julian said, smiling. "Sure. I've got a couple with me. Also we have to go back over this track because I'm not completely satisfied with it."

Julian smirked. "Of course your not, perfectionist." "Shut up." Louis shoved his blue moleskin notebook at him, it was a gift from mum. Even though it was well worn by now, he refused to throw it away, even as is pages fell out, various post it notes stuck to it.

Louis showed him a song called Wasting Away. He sat down in the chair next to Julian and waited for Julian to say something. "This is brilliant. When did you write this?" He flipped the page to the next song which was a sad song Louis wrote about his mum that he didnt think he could ever actually record. It was called Gone Too Soon. Julian looked up. "Lou, this, this song, I dont know if youd be open to it, but I think the message in the song could help so many people who feel alone after they lose someone they love"

" yeah, I have a melody in mind for it but I dont know if could ever actually record it. It's for my mum." Julian smiled kindly. "Yeah I got that impression. I'm sorry Lou. If you don't want to record it then by all means, dont. But I really think it would be therapeutic for you and your fans." Louis nodded. "I'll think about it." They spent a few more hours perfecting honesty before Julian had to head home. Louis left not long after him.

 

                          //////////

"TURN THE LIGHTS ON, PARTYS OVER, MAYBE SOMEDAY WELL NEVER GET OLDER!!!!" alex and her friends sang at the top of there lungs. They were having a girls night which included pizza, Chinese food and jibaritos.

Alex was so happy they all had time to actually hang out. She hadnt really seen much of her girls. "Whew! I love the summer set." Hannah said, grabbing a bottle of juice. Alex nodded in agreement. "I wish I had seen them before they broke up." "Dont even-" hannah said with a wave of her hand.

"I need some 90s music. You got a 90s playlist?" Erica said, picking up Alex's Samsung s8 and going through her playlist. " I know you have a 90s playlist on here, dont play with me."

That was Erica's favorite phrase.

Alex loved these two girls, erica was black with beautiful brown eyes and her hair in braids. Hannah was Puerto Rican with blond hair and brown eyes. She was very pretty. They had all been best friends for years now. Grew up together, went to middle school and high school together. Went to separate colleges but still managed to be best friends. "If you know I have a 90s playlist, why did you ask?" Alex rolled her eyes, smirking. Erica glanced up. "Shut up." Alex just laughed. Hannah seemed intent on drinking all the juice alex had bought.

"Heyyy, leave the Kola Champagne sis. Dont be drinking all my juice either." Alex warned. Hannah didnt respond but grabbed a bottle of water. Alex rolled her eyes.

Pillowtalk started playing. "This isnt 90s music miss erica." "Shut up. I like this song, plus I didnt wanna listen to yall bickering like an old married couple." Alex smacked her. "Shut up." "We werent bickering."

Hannah started dancing. Alex and erica sang the chorus together, while dancing around.

_So we'll piss off the neighbours In the place that feels the tears The place to lose your fears Yeah, reckless behavior A place that is so pure, so dirty and raw In the bed all day, bed all day, bed all day Fucking in and fighting on It's our paradise and it's our war zone It's our paradise and it's our war zone_

_"_ His voice is so beautiful. I cry." Alex said, wiping an imaginary tear from her eye. Erica then changed the song, the opening notes of Let's Get Loud started. "YESSSS!!!" Alex first pumped. "She is the queen. Truly." They all started dancing again.

A bit later the girls had settled down to watch Queer Eye on Netflix. They were re watching season 1. "God this show is so good i want to be friends with them." Alex said. "Agree 10000 percent. Speaking of new friends, Hows Lilly?" Erica asked. "Shes good... we facetimed earlier. Were trying to figure out when we can see each other again." "Awwww. Your blushing... look at you our little alex is all grown up.. " erica teased her, pinching her cheeks. Alex swatted her hand away. Lilly made her so happy, she was so amazing and kind and generous and caring and her positive energy and positive vibes had rubbed off on alex.

It had been a very hard few years, losing her mom hurt so much, then losing her grandma it was alot. She missed them both so much. She genuinely hadnt smiled this much since they passed, sure shed fake a smile or two in front of her boss and co workers and even in front of her friends. Lilly was a huge light in her life. "Your phones ringing" erica startled her out of her thoughts. "Oh!" She grabbed it and answered.

"Hello?" "Hey, what's going on?" Lillys voice came through & alex blushed. "Just hanging with my friends, watching Queer Eye. What's up with you?" She listened as Lilly told her about her day and how she was writing some scripts for videos and met with her production company about some top secret stuff.

Alex got up and went into her kitchen, she sat down at her island. "I miss you, I miss scarbrough." Alex said. "I miss you too babe, scarbrough misses you as well. Oh what happened with your promotion?"

Alex hadnt told her friends yet, it was a huge change, but shed needed someone to talk to about it so shed told Lilly. Basically her boss knew wanted to write about more serious issues, so she talked to people at this newspaper called Beat, that covered political and social issues and had gotten alex a job there, as a writer, but with a huge pay raise and benifets and a 401k. She explained it all to Lilly. "I'd be able to finally get a bigger apartment too, with my salary increase. I'm so excited I started in a few weeks." "Congratulations!!! I'm so happy for you. You worked so hard for this. That's awesome. I'm proud of you." Alex smiled. "Thank you love." They talked for a little longer then hung up.

Alex sat in her kitchen for a few minutes. She felt kinda overwhelmed by this, this would be the first time she would be able to afford a bigger apartment, plus pay her bills, plus have spending money. She worked so hard for this though, working crappy jobs, writing about stupid shit she didnt care about, to now, being able to cover real issues was beyond a dream come true. "You okay?" Erica asked, startling alex out of her thoughts. "Yeah, I just miss Lilly. I'm fine. Actually- HANNAH!!" she yelled.

Hannah came running into the kitchen. "What's going on? Are you okay?" She asked, trying to catch her breath. "Yes I'm fine. I just have some news." Hannah smacked her arm "dont scare me like that. Jesus." Then they both sat down across from her and looked at her expectedly. Alex took a deep breathe & told them about her promotion.

They were over the moon with happiness for her, hugging her and telling her congrats. Just then her phone rang. It was Louis. "Hey Lulu." "Hi love... " louis sounded upset. "What's wrong?" He sighed. "Harry just called me, hes doing a show tonight in LA, he wants me to go, says he has something planned for me. I dont know if I want go. No one thinks I should. Except Niall. I dont know." Alex frowned, she bit her lip and played with her ring she wore that was from her grandma. "At the end of the day, it's up to you, lulu. Me and everyone else can be against it just because we dont wanna see you get hurt, but if you feel you need to go, then you should."

                           /////////

Louis was nervous on so many levels. He decided to go to Harry's show, though why he felt compelled to was up in the air. He took a shower, letting the water ease the tension in his shoulders. He got out, grabbed his navy blue towel, wrapping it around his waist. He walked into his room and over to the dresser to pick out some underwear and jeans. He choose black skinny jeans and a white adias top. He put on some sneakers and went downstairs. He had a about less than 5 minutes before he had to leave. Louis had decided to drive himself there rather than rely on anyone else. If it all went to shit, well, at least hed be alone. Grabbing his wallet, phone and car keys he headed out. The drive to the venue was uneventful. Louis however, was having second thoughts. He was parked across the street from the venue, just sitting in his car trying to get his bearings. "Here goes nothing..." he muttered. There were already a line of fans waiting to get in.

Louis put his hoodie up and sunglasses on "you know who wears sunglasses when it's not sunny? Blind people. And douchebags." Louis mutters, walking towards the back entrance harry told him about. He somehow managed to get in unseen.

He takes off his sunglasses, he doesnt want to be that guy, sticking them on his shirt. He made his way backstage, then one of Harry's people came over. "Hi Louis! I'm Kiara, so nice to meet you. So harry has a special area for family and friends. " she starts walking, gesturing for him to follow her. "I'm gonna take you there, there are always bottles of water in the mini fridge in the area, as well as various snacks, chips, candy, fruit. But if you need anything you can ask me."

She stops outside a lounge area and opens the door. The lounge is above the stage to the right with a perfect view of the stage and the crowd. There are alot of fans, but they are paying no attention to him. He sighs. "Do you want to see harry before the show? We've got like 15 minutes before he goes on" Kiara asks. Louis smiles thinly "no no. I'll talk to him later." "Okay. Let me know if you need anything. I'll be around." She walked out.

Louis sat down on one of the big plush chairs, taking deep breaths. He really didn't know why he was here. He loved harry, yeah, but that wasn't enough to fix everything. Harry had lied so many times, over and over about big things about small things. Louis just didnt know if hed ever truly be able to trust him as much as he wanted to be able to. He told harry theyd work on being friends because he felt that he couldn't completely cut him out of his life, but it hurt so much that they even were in this place of having to do that. Just then the lights went down, louis heard the roar of the crowd as Harry came out, all dressed up in a pink suit. He started singing. Louis just stared at him. This man that he once was in love with, that he once trusted irrevocably. The show went on, harry performing some one direction songs, as well as songs from his upcoming album.

Then, near the end, he started talking to the crowd once again. This time, he mentioned louis without mentioning him. "So, theres someone special here tonight. At least I hope they are still here. Someone that I hurt very very deeply. I used and lied to this person and broke so many promises. I did it for very selfish reasons. But I regret it now. So this next song, its dedicated to that person, this is Sorry."

The opening notes started playing.

_Broken hearts and last goodbyes, restless nights and lullabies helps make this pain go away._

_I realize I let you down, told you that I'd be around Building up the strength just to say, I'm sorry._

_For breaking all the promises I wasnt around to keep._

_It's all me._

_This time is the last time I will ever beg you to stay._

_But your already on your way._

_Filled with sorrow, filled with pain Knowing that I am to blame For leaving your heart out in the rain_

_And I know your gonna walk away And leave me with the price to pay But before you go I wanted to say_

_That I'm sorry For breaking all the promises that I wasn't around to keep Its all me This time is the last time that I will ever beg you to stay. But you're already on your way._

_Can't make it alive on my own But if you have to go, then please boy Just leave me alone. Cause I don't want to see you and me going our separate ways._

_I'm begging you to stay If it isn't too late I'm sorry For breaking all the promises that I wasn't around to keep._

_Its all me_

_This time is the last time that I will ever beg you to stay. But your already on your way. But your already on your way.._.

Harry finished the song. He stood there for a few minutes, just trying not to cry. then said goodnight to the crowd, taking a bow amid all the screaming. Louis stood frozen, having just heard the song harry wrote for him. He didnt know what to think or how to feel. The song was heartbreaking, but they had just started being semi friends again.

Louis was so confused. He sighed. He didnt know if he could actually face harry after that. Why had he agreed to come here in the first place? He knew harry was sorry, obviously the song proved that too. Louis turned to leave, but harry stood in the doorway.

"Lou."

"Lou. You came."

Louis nodded his head slightly.

He cleared his throat. "Yeah. I um.. I dunno I felt like I should or something."

Harry cautiously stepped into the room. "Did you-"

"Yes. I heard the song." "

And?" Harry seemed so nervous and scared.

Louis took a deep breath. "Harry, I know your sorry. You've already told me you are. I just... I dont know. I'm so confused. I still love you, you know that, I just do not trust you. And that's the problem, a relationship without trust just doesn't work." He looked up. "I dont know what you want from me. I told you I wanted to work towards being friends but now your singing songs about being sorry and begging me to stay.... "

"Lou. You know what I want from you. I know you dont trust me and I get why. I fucked up, I lied to you so many times about important things and about small things. I broke alot of promises. But I love you. I will never stop. I just want you lou. Its always been you. It's you at 6am and it's you at 4pm. I love you. I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you. If you'll let me. This isnt saying that we should get back together right now, but let me show you I've changed Lou. Please."

Louis had tears in his eyes, he wiped them away, somewhat annoyed that he was crying. He could tell harry was sincere and being genuine.

"Ok."

"I'm not going to fuck up lou. You are worth too much to lose." 

Louis hoped he wasnt making a mistake letting harry in again. He couldnt handle crashing and burning a second time. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If ya wanna talk @ATLISLIFE_


	15. Chapter 15

hi everyone. 

I'm sorry about the lack of updates. I've been dealing with some health issues and I also hit a block with this fic. I'm not sure where to go with it. If anybody wants to help me write this, please reach out to me. Seriously. I dont wanna just post just to post. I want it to be good. So if anyone has suggestions or wants to help me, with full credit of course, please let me know. 

My Twitter is @LYRRENEGADE if you want to dm me. 

Thanks for reading this fic, its truly a labor of love and I'm so proud of it so far. So thank you for reading its! It means alot! ♡


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